Pic post

You don't need balls to have balls...


Um, yes please...


Surly Pugsleys are for pussies...


Proper skinsuit fitment...

Peace!

A sloppy mess

Nys is a mudder, once again. Stybar called into the live broadcast for Mallorca...wuss! The course looked, um, challenging. Guys would crash on the one descent and slide all the way to the bottom, w/o their bikes.

Speaking of, I bailed on racing CX today. I woke up feeling punky yesterday, rode anyway, and just felt worse as the day progressed. @ 2100 hours, the H.O. forbade me from getting up @ 0530 and traveling to Charleston. I'm glad she did, b/c I've felt like hammered shit since my crusty eyes saw first light this morning. I rolled out of the rack @ 0900, which was really 1000, since the time got clicked back last night. Somewhere near 11 hours of sleep helped very little...
I'm not even hungry, so you KNOW something is wrong!

Good ride by Spokejunky this morning in Chas. to finish 2nd in the 3s. MDro rode well, but evidently ran off course and lost spots getting back on.

Oh, well, such is life. I'd rather be sick now than for Southern Cross.

Finally...

Has it been a long week for anyone else? Jeez...

You know that rain and wind that blew through yesterday morning? Yeah, I toed the fine line that separates hard and stupid and went out in it. 2 hours on the CX bike. It was one of those days that give you no choice BUT to go hard, as it's really the only way to stay warm. I did the normal CX loop (the 10km dirt section 2x) and brought my nearly drowned fat ass back to the house. To say I was wet and dirty would be an understatement of epic proportions. I didn't even bother to come in the house post-ride. The mudroom earned it's name!
The ride itself was highly enjoyable...even the uber-soft sand/dirt/clay/mud on Old State was good. I just kept reminding myself that it was good for me. While I was stopped at the light @ Huger St., a nice older lady did asked if I needed a ride somewhere. I explained that I was out in the shit by choice, which was met with a look that a dog gives when ones ask it a question.
No ride today. I'll go out and spin around tomorrow morning, and then wake up before the crack of dawn to race on Sunday. It's supposed to be ass-biting cold Sunday morning...greeeeaaaaat!

News:
Bjarne Riis sure is sensitive, and a little bitter I'd say. Hey Barney, JT has something to tell you...

As the the Luxembourg team, whatever they are to be called, they have BIG money backing them! Look for Luxair, Trek and Mercedes to be on the jersey. Just sayin'...

As always, the Feds show class. Good job FBI! Isn't there a better use of Federal Agent time than strong arming a guy from Ukraine? Dicks! Hey Feds, if you're reading this, I took a piss in Lance's bathroom back in 1999 (really, I did!). I'll probably get a subpoena now.

If you don't read IF's blog once in a while, you should! Art in motion!

And here's a new site that allows you to map rides. It even calculates elevation...pretty rad! Veloroutes.org


Have a good weekend! Go out and get some! Peace!

Muddy goodness!

Nys is a mudder. Watch him just flow and let the bike move around under him. Notice too, that his rear FMB is flat for @ 1/2 lap. No worries though, just ride it! I also like the fact that this race was on a Monday, and the course was surrounded by fans. Belgium has it shit straight!

MDro and I met for a CX ride last night. Nothing hard, just a fun ride through the surrounding area, including the secret spots. It was the first time this season that I've had to break out the lights. This whole 'dark at 6:45 thing' is a bit depressing. Thankfully, I have the opportunity to ride in the morning, when the sun is above the horizon. That being said, I really like riding at night. It heightens the senses, so when I come down, sleep is easy!

I suddenly want one of these too...

The very moment...

For all you dillholes who believe Contadope! The signing of the contract was caught on film, or hard drive as it were...



4th day of 4 yesterday. MDro was supposed to show up for some quality dirt time, but he woke up with a headache (How is the wife anyway? I kid...I kid...), so I was Juan Solo, as usual. 4 days in a row with efforts everyday does, in fact, dull the steel a little bit. I remembered rule #5, and soldiered on through West Columbia. Off the bike today as I'm sort of tired, and the MTs are both unencumbered by the yoke of oppression that is school. Oh, they're off tomorrow too! And we wonder why we're 49th in education!



This is an actual photo of an actual road. It was taken by my friend FH (@pedal_junky on the Twitter), somewhere in Virgina. He followed the road and evidently, it's a long, winding, tailwind descent. My next time thru that part of the world, I'll ride that road...and liberate the sign!

And tomorrow, get out and vote. It doesn't matter who you vote for, just go do it!

Peace!

Saturday Love...

Awesome, just awesome!!!



Got skills?




Check out the cross bike...it ain't no single...



I have no idea why Blogger/Google is cutting off the side of the videos. Click on the top banner of each video and it will open correctly in another window. Sorry...both are worth watching!!!

Windshield/Bug

Some days you're one, some days the other. This morning was a windshield day. I don't know if it was the weather (rain, wet, mud), the amount of sleep I got yesterday and last night (10+ hours), or the new wheels on the Salsa, but turning it over seemed an afterthought.
There must be a bit of Belgian blood running through my veins, as I seem to ride better when the weather is shit...

It was a #5 and #9 day today.

News you can use-

A class act says goodbye to the peloton.

Farrar gets the WC as a leadout man?

I told you so...

Think you have a good wife? This guy's is better...


Not much else doing...have a good day everyone!

My take

So, over the last couple of days, LeMond's daughter has been spouting off, on Twitter of all places, at Lance Armstrong and Graham Watson, and making the insinuation that Watson is part of some 'Omerta' to keep all things Lance under wraps.
Now granted, I think what Watson did was wrong. Labeling the LeMond photos with the word 'FOOL' in the URL on his website was just dumb. Images of LeMond, as well as myriad other cyclists, have made Watson pretty freaking famous, and wealthy. Bad form Mr. Watson.

That being said, Simone LeMond needs to keep HER mouth shut. She's 21 years and carries a fucking chihuahua around in her purse. Paris Hilton much?
Does anyone believe that it's above LeMond NOT to use his daughter as a surrogate mouthpiece...really? She's always going to believe her Father. Do you NOT think that he's brainwashed her into belief that everyone in the peloton is a cheater/doper/scumbag?

Simone LeMond wasn't even a drunken twinkle in her father's paranoid, jaundiced eye when Greg won his first Tour. She speaks of 'Omerta'? What's the bet she had to Google the word after she heard it from her father?
Maybe she should sit down and have a conversation with Ole Greggy-Poo concerning his rapid recovery from a shotgun blast to the chest in 1987, then winning the Tour in 1989 with 60 lead bird-shot pellets in his chest, including one in the lining of his heart.
I think LeMond has forgotten about all of the shit he jacked into his own veins during his career. Having a touch of the crazy will do that to you!
Anquetil said you don't win Le Tour on mineral water alone...

As for me, I did 10x1 intervals this morning. I rode hard enough to give myself a headache, and puke a bit during a belch. Sweet...

Peace!

Wait, what? Are you kidding?

So the ASO, in all of their cheese-eating-surrender-monkey wisdom, are batting around the idea of removing La Foret d'Arenberg in 2011. Huh? It's been skipped three times in 100+ years, with the last time in '05, b/c they were restoring it for the race. It's like going to see Cirque de Soleil, but all of the performers are in tracksuits. Sure, it's the circus, but just not the same...
I'm not one to support lobbyists, but if there was ever a time to have one in your pocket, in France, then this is it. Send notes of support to Les Amis de Paris-Roubaix.

Speaking of things Euro, Stybar once again showed clean (figuratively) wheels to the field in Plzen today. Great course...short and punchy...



The Palmetto Trail called to me this morning. I swapped out the skinnies for the meat. The difference was a double-edged sword. On the tarmac, 700x40 tires are brutally slow. In the trail, they were sublime.
I went out to the firebreak @ MM8, cleaned my glasses, watered the fence, and turned for home. A slight deviation was made to include the doubletrack road that runs just inside the fenceline. It's fast, swoopy and pretty damn fun. The best part was the section that runs behind King's Grant*. It's nice to know that people who live in a gated community, with $500k houses, are still ignorant rednecks who just throw their dog's waste over the fence, into the Army base. Money can't buy good sense it seems...


*- King's Grant is a lovely community situated in a niche that lies between I-77N and Fort Jackson Army Base, the single largest training base in the military. A nice, quiet place to raise children....

Anywho, it was a good ride on a beautiful day, other than the poop...

Hope everyone had a good weekend...Peace!

Friday update

Well, my esophageal motility test was an absolute failure this morning. I got up before the rooster even thought about twitching, hiked my happy ass out to LexMed, sat for close to an hour, and then was physically unable to complete the test.
The probe was supposed to go through my nose and descend into the upper regions of the GI tract. Well, I've broken my nose somewhere between 2 and 5 times, depending on who is reading the X-Rays, so Fred, the huge Endoscopy nurse, couldn't feed it through.
We moved on to the effort to swallow the probe. My throat/esophagus is so damaged that I couldn't get it down. A short bit of vomiting followed. Nice way to start your day...
No test = no results = more time and testing needed to figure out that my upper GI is wrecked. Super!

Upside? When I got home, FedEx had already been to the house and dropped off MDro's new rig. 90 short minutes later, it was built, tuned and ready to get dirty.


Not bad for an off the peg bike. There are some things I'd change, but that would just add more cost to the project. Even so, it was a screaming deal from the fine folks @ Bothell Bike out in the PNW.
It's a shame that he's out of town for the weekend...

Oh, and to add insult to my overall feeling of malaise, I'm single parenting until tomorrow night. The H.O. is in Tatertown again for work. You have fun with that...

Peace.

2011 Tour de France preview & news

2011 TdF stages and preview

Didn't feel like re-writing...just click the link! Looks like it could be interesting. Funny that people all already poo-pooing it, even though it's a completely different race than in the past. Can't make some folks happy...

Hey Floyd...they really don't want you there...

I forgot to mention the Women's race in Aigle. Katie F'n Compton FTW...

Hotness...

(real) Old School

Think you know 'Old School'?

Well, you don't know jack! Old School is written in the lines on his face. He's seen more, done more, and ridden more miles in worse weather. He's forgotten more about cycling than we'll know.
As 'cyclists', we should all aspire to this...
Think about it on your ride today.

50/50

And how was your weekend? Mine was as the title states...
Saturday was a waste. I went to the Clemson/Maryland game. It was akin to watching, well...Clemson and Maryland. Two bad teams running around on a beautiful day, followed by that miserable drive back from the Upstate. Then Carolina pulled their normal shit. By normal, I mean the same crap that they've pulled since I started school here in 1988. Play well, win some big games, get everyone into a frenzy, then drive it into the ditch. I would rather have been racing CX in Greenville, blue-dotting and coughing up my own sick.
This morning, I woke up LATE, had brekkie with the fam, watched Stybar go horizon on the bunch @ Aigle, and then climbed onto the cross bike @ 1030. Instead of the normal stuff, I decided to hit the Palmetto Trail for a little grindy singletrack action. The trail itself is in pretty good shape, save for the plethora of pine straw, but that's the norm out there. And I'm sure there are those that still poo-poo riding out there as being "too easy" or "not technical enough", but go do it on a cross bike with 32c tires, instead of a MTB, and get back to me!
Anyway, it was a beautiful morning and the ride was sublime! The rest of the day was spent with the corporation, including a trip to the Pumpkin patch. I even got a little time in The ManHole(tm) for some bike maintenance. Good day all the way around...

Oh, here's the vid of the last two laps from Aigle. Looks like a punchy course...



And for the worst weather of the weekend, look no further than the Giro di Lombardia...




Peace!

Happy Birthday

Boonen turns 30 today! Underage girls and blow for everyone...!!!!!

Testing...1,2,3...

Okay, so when I do a product test, I usually like to ride the part I'm reviewing several times before offering an opinion. In this, however, one 90 minute ride was sufficient to deduce that I found something good.
What bits did I test this morning you ask? IRD Crossfire cyclocross tires! I've ridden and raced a LOT of cross tires, both clincher and tubular, and the tires I rode this morning are easily the best clinchers I've had under my fat rear end.

Okay, I'll admit, the white is a bit obscene (I was expecting black), but the weight and construction of the tire doesn't change with color, so what the hell.
Quick and dirty overview of the meats themselves...
120TPI (more than a lot of $$ road tires), very supple casing and tread, widely spaced deep lugs that extend pretty far down the sidewall. They went on easily by hand and roll straight and round when inflated to the proper pressure. IRD states that the tires are 32mm wide, but they measure out to just shy of 35mm.
Ride report...
I put them on my 32h IRD/White Industries wheels, put 50psi in the front and 55psi in the rear. Those pressures are higher than needed for a race situation, but I was riding on tarmac, gravel, dirt and grass this morning, so there had to be a trade-off. It seemed that the choice was correct. On the tarmac, they roll smoothly and quietly, and really didn't seem to be any slower than Michelin Jets or Kenda SB8s. Turn in was progressive and I could tell the tread was soft and the casing supple. Ride quality is softer than the two aforementioned tires at the same pressures.
Once into the trail/cross loop, they could do no wrong. Gravel passed under the tires with no harshness or drama. In the dirt, they just gripped and gripped. No sliding, period!
The wet grass really showed where IRD did it's homework. Considering these are based on the Panaracer Fire XC Pro MTB tires (and produced in Japan by Panaracer), it's not too surprising.
I did 4 race paced loops of the double secret course and made an honest effort to hit the turns hard to see if I could make the tire slide out. No such luck! They just grabbed the grass and turned. I could hear the grass tearing as the tread scrabbled for grip. The tires didn't even give up grip climbing the run-up, like the Jets/SB8s are wont to do.
I also hit a section of lumpy mud, which didn't get the chance to stick around, literally and figuratively. The Crossfires shed every speck of mud within 25m.
Overall, I can't really find a downside to the Crossfires. The color isn't a big deal, simply because the white actually didn't look terrible on the bike. It actually gives one the opportunity to color match things, if so inclined.

As for me, no racing in Greenville this weekend, as I am being forced to play the role of loving spouse, and accompany the H.O. the the Clemson game on Saturday. The upside? We aren't sitting in the stands with the unwashed masses of mulleted Clemson fans. We'll be in the SuperBox, enjoying free food and drink. It's a push...
My calf is also SORE today. I may have received a bit deeper bruise that I initially thought, but it's not enough to keep from riding.

Peace!

Stybar W in Ruddervoorde

10/10 Ruddervoorde SP from jef cleemput on Vimeo.

My leg hurts!

Augusta race report...in talking points.
-Didn't warm up enough
-5th into turn one...dumbass crashes in turn two...still fifth.
-Guy in front of me trips on run-up. I check up to keep from stomping on him.
-In true NASCAR form, I get plowed from behind, and take a bike to the right calf.
-It hurt! The guy apologized...as he ran past. Thanks man...dick!
-5th to 12th in 50m
-Struggled for the rest of the race.
-Lost more spots...right calf es no bueno!
-Finished solidly mid-pack in 19th.

Highlights of a 19th place finish?
-Didn't crash
-Wanted to quit, but didn't
-Nothing broke (parts or me)
-Wasn't DFL by a long shot
-Took a donut hand-up from a cute girl!
-Had big fun
-Watched Pat embarrass himself in front of EASILY the hottest girl in Augusta

Probably had a top ten in me, if not for being summarily disabled on lap one.
My right calf is swolled and f*cking SORE!!! I'm sure it'll feel SUPER tomorrow!

Really? REALLY?

Hey Floyd...
No one cares!
You're a douche!
Go away!
Feel free to G.F.Y!
Talk about hubris...jeez!

Now for something positive...

I suddenly feel like I want shrimp, a barbie, an oil can of Foster's and whatever else she feels like bringing to the shindig! Maybe her twin sister? Too much to ask?

?

Okay...I have a question. Did I fall asleep, Rip Van Winkle-style, and sleep through Fall? A week ago, I was rolling out in a sleeveless jersey. This morning, the Verge baselayer and Sockguy armwarmers were called into service for the first time. It was 53 degrees when the first pedal turned @ 0915. The North wind was a nice plus too!
Of course, we could be in Phoenix, where the temps are still licking three figures. It's a dry heat though...

Here's yet another reason why Belgium is cool...The route for the Ronde is permanently marked!!!
"Where are we riding today?"
"Oh, I figured we'd do the last 80km of the Ronde."

And this hit the mailbox yesterday...
Thanks to Big Jonny and the Gnome! "Two Wheels...One Dark Lord!"

Thor smash...

What a great freaking finish!!!
Here's the entire last lap...
P1


P2



Rode 2 hours solo yesterday in the wind. It didn't matter which direction I went, I had a head/cross. It okay though, the ride was still quite enjoyable, except for the douche who gave me the right hook in West Columbia. He's now the proud owner of a Cycle Center waterbottle. The bottle jumped right off my downtube, flew in a borderline perfect arc, and sailed through his open passenger side rear window. I wish the bottle on my seat tube would have taken the initiative though, as the aforementioned bottle was full of Hammer Nutrition's finest lemon-lime HEED. On an up note, I'm betting that shit is sticky when splashed inside of a Nissan Altima.

The MT's went to The Spa, so I nixed a ride this morning to take advantage of the quiet house, and slept in. The H.O. and I went out the The Palmetto Trail and did a nice 4 mile hike instead. Not a bad morning...

The new cross wheels and tires are to be shipped tomorrow (Monday). Somehow though, I'm doubting it'll all show up by the end of the week for Augusta on Sunday.

Hope everyone had a good weekend!

(shaking head)

Oh Lance...
You used to be a car guy. An Audi A8 W12, the GTO that Sheryl gave you, the big red Harley...
Now you've gone and joined the pious douchebags.

I know that it'll rarely get driven, simply because it's a PR stunt. Maybe you'll just motorpace behind it.

And I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the 'zero emissions' sticker on the side. Sure, it uses no gasoline, but the electricity doesn't exactly come from thin air now, does it? The coal burning power plants that are making the elctricity, and the very production of the vehicle itself, put enough goop into the air to more than make up for the 'clean' vehicle...

He's a BAAAAD man!

#4, and the only reason it's not #5 is the fact that Spartacus didn't race in '08! He'll be so heavily marked during the RR that I doubt his pre-race trip to the bathroom will go un-noticed.

Oh, and I was talking to #2 son this morning about the whole Contador affair, and he was dubious, to say the least...


The new, and probable theory...
AC was on Clenbuterol over the Winter/Spring off-season to stay lean and not lose too much muscle. He then pulled blood out to freeze and save to be transfused at a later date.
The night after the stage into Pau, he was transfused with this bag of blood. Knowing he'd be tested on the rest day, AND knowing that the half-life of Clen is 24 hours, worry about testing hot didn't enter his mind.
The next day, the other shoe fell...OOPS!

As for me...I've been cleared by the Doc to race cross, so I ventured near the cave today. It sucked pretty hard, but felt good at the same time. 20 minutes @ cruise/SST and 10 minutes @ 90-ish%. The last 60 seconds really sucked. Time to maybe start training...
Same shit tomorrow...
Peace!

(not so) Un-fucking-believable

http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/alberto-contador-tests-positive-for-clenbuterol

He's obviously been training in rural China. Hard for an IV asthma drug to get into your chicken salad...just sayin'...
What a complete assbag...but we knew that already, didn't we?

The Man-Child

'All-Twitch' put it on the U23 World last night! Now, turn the boy into a Classics rider and watch him clean up. New nickname? Crassus...the man who slayed Spartacus!

WTF?

So, now the hippies in California are against bicycles? When, oh when, will an earthquake just split that place off into the ocean?
And the next one is for all of my tri-dork friends...
Please, please, please, if you stop one person from doing this, you've helped all of us! I'll bet his T1 time was blistering though...


This morning's ride was nice. 2 days of rain, and an overcast sky forced me to dig out a baselayer and gloves. The dirt was in good shape...not a sloppy as I thought it might be. The CX bike was the right choice this morning!
Have a good day peeps!

Mt. Washington Hill Cimb

Would this ^^^^^^^ be considered a banana hammock?

2010 Vista GP

Fulspeed put on the Vista GP again this year. Unfortunately for him, after 6 weeks of bone dry weather, it freaking rained! It kept turnout low, both for racers, and spectators.
I needed to get away from my loving family, lest I kill them all, so I wandered down, digital SLR in hand.
I burned off almost 100 pics...only 60 were worthy of sharing. Sometimes, you just let the motordrive fly and see what happens. Not all shots can be winners!

Here's the album....2010 Vista GP

If anyone wants the original files, please let me know. The files are HUGE! 4000x2600 huge!

Now, back to my wheel search...

Wow...

Looks like Specialized gets the 'King Douchebag Award' of Interbike 2010...and in Vegas, that's an accomplishment.
It seems they had a big booth at the convention center, yet were scanning badges of attendees. Big deal you say? Well, they were scanning the badges into their database to see who was, and wasn't, a dealer for the Big S. If you were, you got into the booth. If not, you were turned away by security. Security? Really? Cyclists sure must be a violent bunch!
I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I know that, on the first day of business school, you learn that your customer's customer is your customer! In this case, it seems Specialized cares more about stroking their dealers than letting people see their product. Nice...
Yet another reason I won't buy a Specialized product. Between broken frames, broken wheels, and now this, one could postulate that they are turning into Trek.

Hang in there...

It's almost the weekend. I know I'm hanging by a very thin thread...
Felt really crappy when I threw the leg over the top tube this morning, but as I rolled, my mood improved, and I felt better the longer I was out. Unfortunately, other responsibilties prevented me from staying out all morning. The HoD+ was all I could swing.
We NEED some rain. It's DRY and loose back in the secret spot. Lots o' sliding around in the powdery silt this morning. It's okay, it's good for the handling skills.

Phinney goes to BMC! Not exactly shocked on this end. He can explain it however he wants, but I've discussed it with a few people, and the general consensus is that he wants to distance himself from Radioshack and Lance, just in case. When a bomb goes off, there tends to be collateral damage. Plus, Lance pulled his normal dick behavior when Phinney got the first offer from Och and BMC.

And the rats are jumping off Riis' sinking ship. He signs Contadork and the rest of the team bolts. Catch a hint Barney. Oh, and very classy move crapping on Cancellara. I have a sneaking suspicion that you'll be eating those words next Spring, wherever Spartacus lands.

Oh, and the Gruber Assist is going to be available...great...we'll need an x-ray machine at local races now!

Now to go wash the cross bike...

Fan? Running...

Shit? Now hitting it...

Italy pops 35 for dope...

Papp's little pill party is netting names, including one who started using EPO when he was a Cat 3!!! Yeah, you read that correctly...
The indictment and plea deal are supposed to be sealed in this GIANT case, but we all know, much like what happened in baseball, the names will eventually leak out. Personally, name the names and let's do this! Papp sold dope to 187 'clients' through his website. 187!!! While that doesn't sound like a big number, I'd be willing to bet that someone who reads this paragraph has toe'd the line against a doper in the past 3 years!

Even Lance's ass may be in the sling soon...

Gonna be an interesting fall and winter...

Did the HoD+ on the cross bike this morning. I've come to the conclusion that I'm allergic to whatever tall grass is out in the fields on my little cross loop. They were cutting this morning and I feel like hell right now. I'm no M.D., but it doesn't take much to correlate the two!

Anyone interested in a carbon ISP frameset? Let me know! I have something working...

Photo post

Hey, aero dorks, this is the position you should emulate. It will make you faster. Well, maybe, maybe not. Having superior genetics doesn't hurt either. TP won by .14 seconds over the bald midget. The little fella didn't look happy about it either...


Stevil Kinevil got his new pinky/pimp hand ring. Bitches better have his money by Friday! He's taking reservations for forehead punches (he'll be punching you). The lead time is at three months right now. I'm #73!

JFK was a lot smarter than people knew...but not as smart as this guy...



I did a nice ride with a couple of guys yesterday. The three of us knocked down a loop through WC and Lexington County that was hilly, windy and a whole lot of fun. No real efforts were made, but I still finished the 80km in 2.5 hours.
This morning, I finished my little 4 day stretch with a 90 minute ride on the cross bike. 5 rides in 4 days is good for you!

Congrats goes out to Bond for once again claiming the SC State RR 35+ title. 3rd year running as well. FK was 2nd and not-so-big-anymore Jamie was 3rd. JC finished 3rd in the 40+. GW missed the podium by one spot in the 30+. Both junior categories were won by grommets from Sunday's program. Good show fellas!

Gonna go nap now...peace!

The weekend is upon us!

So I clicked of another ride this morning. That makes 3 rides in a 24 hour period. I wasn't feeling really all that chipper this morning, but I'm glad I stayed out. It was one of those days when you start feeling better the longer you're on the bike. After an hour of feeling poorly, I came down Saxe Gotha, and ripped off a 65kmh sprint. Level ground, no wind, rolled into it @ 45kmh. I'll take it.
After that little effort, I felt strangely better and just turned it over for the last hour. I guess I needed to blow out the carbon...

Big stuff going on the next two weekends.
This weekend we have the Night Owl charity ride, State RR, the USPRO TT and the USPRO RR. Next weekend, racing comes to town with the Vista GP. If you can't race, at least make an appearance and support Scotty's efforts to bring racing to Columbia. I'm still under Doc's orders not to toe the start line, but I'll be there taking pictures, so wear your clean team kit!

Oh, and if you have a helmet camera, use it. It may help you survive out there and prove that cagers are assholes. I use mine regularly, and so does this guy!

Who is this?

Did Bond get his daughter into bike racing? Oh, and if you're curious, those are 24" Lightweights and the bike is setup with Di2! My question? Why no clipless pedals?

And this is how you know if you're truly a pipe-hitting, Big Dick in the World of cyclocross. FMBs with your name on them. It feels good to be a gangster!

My blue bag hit the porch @ lunchtime. By 1:30, the Salsa was rebuilt with a new r/d, ceramic pulleys, new Sram chain and cable. Shakedown ride tonight. Oh, and for what it's worth, the new 6700 rear derailleur works just fine with 6600 shifters. Don't pay attention to the Shimano schematic. The only things that MUST go together are the D/A front shifter and front derailleur.

Road tomorrow morning...haven't decided on Saturday...guess I should break out the decoder ring to see when the group ride is leaving...or I may just go ride in the dirt...

Peace!

You're a good driver, eh?

Ken Block begs to differ!

Did the HoP(tm) yesterday...in 55 minutes. I guess I felt better than I thought. Just kind of rolled along.
I took the day off today, as I needed to go to the NE to pick my new Oakley Transistors. If you need glasses, by they regular or sunnies, the only choice is Oakley.

The parts to rebuild the Salsa are tickling in. The new hoop for the rear wheel just hit the door. Still waiting for the blue bag from Probikekit so I can throw on the rear derailleur and a new chain. As for chains, I have a Mavic, a SRAM and a KMC...decisions...
New ceramic pulleys should hit the door any day now. Shit needs to hurry up, I haven't had my daily dose of Vitamin D for about a week, and I'm getting itchy and hard(er) to get along with, as if that was possible.
The next four days will contain at least four rides. I need to get back on it! I've lazed about for about 10 days and am feeling very slothful.

Peace!

An ill wind is blowing...

Looks like the USADA is getting ready to put the smack down on some folks! And guess who's at the root of it? Joe "I'm a doper who got caught and is now a snitch" Papp. I guess we now know how that little weasel-beater kept his narrow ass out of Federal PMITA prison.
Now, I'm against doping, per se, but I can tell you that I just don't care that much if the pro dogs are doing it. Hell, let's make a moratorium on testing for 12 months and let 'em have at each other. Welcome to The Thunderdome!

When I hear that Masters dudes are on the AvGas, well...that sort of pisses me off. I know how hard some of my friends work to be good masters racers, and to think that the guys that they are racing against have flammable piss irks me. Rumors have been flying around the Southeast for months. I have no proof and won't names names, but let's just say that if certain guys pissed hot, my jaw wouldn't hit the floor!

Everyone knows my opinion on Papp, so I won't give the POS another mention. Just remember Joe...snitches get stitches...maybe that truck that brushed you last week was sending a message for you to STFU!

Spartacus!

How freaking great is Cancellara?

And yes, Cav did, in fact, bunnny hop over the line FTW!

No ride today...I feel like crap (sinuses), and the H.O. has informed me that she's going to Tampa for a conference...and leaving this afternoon. Thanks for the heads up! I love single parenting with no warning...
(Edit)- She's already gone. Evidently, her flight leaves @ 12:50. She let me know this @ 8:45...

9-11

I made the effort to get the cross bike running last night. No luck! The XT r/d I had in the drawer was for shit, so it got round filed with the parts that came off the bike. Chain (6 rides on it), Ultegra SL rear mech (12 months old) and Token ceramic pulleys (12 months old) all got dumped. New stuff is on the way from the UK. I guess it's on the IR list until the blue bag hits my porch.
My ride this morning was good. I got out early and did two solo loops of the Fort. A few folks were out riding and the new pavement is sublime. Got waves from everyone except a couple of riders that I've known for 15 years...weak...

I also passed many many runners out doing the 9-11 Memorial run. Good on them. I yelled encouragement at them, and it was reciprocated.

Now...on to this "day". 9-11 hangs heavy, and it should. I won't go into politics here, as there is really no point. I will tell you a quick story instead...

On 9-11-01, I was working as a project manager at a now defunct lumber/home building company. I was sitting at my desk early that morning, going over house plans, and listening to the radio. The normal drivel from the a.m. DJs was interrupted by the news that a jetliner had crashed into the World Trade Center. I immediately ran downstairs and fired up the TV in the conference room. People started to trickle in, and by the time the second plane hit, most of the people who actually 'worked' were in the room. We all sat, watching and listening in stunned silence, to the history that was unfolding before us. Folks cried...got angry...called family...even though we were 800 miles away. I got really pissed, then really worried about my friend Christen who worked in the WTC complex. She was walking into her office when the first plane hit. Christen has a 140 IQ and immediately used it to make the decision to get the hell out of Manhattan. She was on the first ferry across to Brooklyn, but I digress...
As well ALL sat there in horror, one of the VPs (Rusty Ashley is his name, if you're curious), who was/is a complete douchenozzle, came into the room and LITERALLY yelled at us for wasting time watching 'something that wasn't important' on TV. Really? REALLY?
I, not-so-politely, asked if he was serious. A heated exchange followed, which included the Irish hot rushing to my head, which is baaaaad. Some left, most did not. I sat in there until lunch, then went home for the day. My eyes did not leave the TV until the H.O. demanded that I stop watching.
The next day, I got pulled into the BIG office and verbally assaulted for being insubordinate towards management. Again, the exchange was heated. Sure, what we were doing at work was important, but building shitty pre-fab patio homes pales in comparison to the horror that visited New York, DC and rural Pennsylvania that day.
It weighed heavily on my mind and spirit for the next week or so. I walked into the VP meeting on September 21st and handed them all a copy of my resignation. I packed my desk, walked to my truck and never looked back.
A few years later, the housing bubble burst and the company went belly up. Shortly thereafter, I saw Rusty again, on this time he was working at Lowe's, helping someone load lumber. Karma's a bitch, isn't it...
My point? Now matter what you were doing then, or what you are doing now, you MUST remember this day and how it changed you, your family, your friends, this country and the World.
May God bless the 2819 lives lost in the attacks that day, including the 60 police officers and 343 firefighters who gave their lives so that others could wake to feel the sun on their faces on 9-12! Even more deaths can be attributed to the rescue effort at Ground Zero. Getting cancer and lung disease is a hell of a thank you for being a first responder. Heroes all...
Don't ever forget! Teach your kids about it! Yes, it's that important!
Here are some numbers that may lend more gravity. Hard when you see it in black and white, eh?

The best laid plans of mice and men...

So I go out this morning, once again forsaking the God of Tarmac, and the above is the result. I rode for all of 30 minutes before the entire rear of my drivetrain decided it no longer wanted to be a part of the ride. One little stick, about the diameter of Joe Papp's pecker, flipped up and got tangled in the rear mech. I'm no big brain, but I don't think that Shimano's engineers planned for the Ultegra SL derailleur to remain operational when pulled into such an acute angle. For those playing at home, that's an approximately 180 degree flip, and a 90 degree inward twist.
The mech is trash. The chain is trash. The hanger is bent and the wheel is out of true. Fortunately, the Dirt God offered the spokes some protection from the assault. CX-Rays are strong...and $4 each...
I'm going to dis-mantle the tangle of bits later. I'd planned on going to GV to do the training series race next Wednesday. We'll see...
For now, the plan is too throw a used XT mech on there and run it. New stuff will be on the way before the El Sol dips below the horizon tonight.


Seen on the road. I may have to make some stencils this weekend.


A couple of hipsters were in the shop this morning talking about wheelies, skids and bar spins. The photo fully explains my feelings on the topic.


And PLEASE keep the fine folks in Boulder in your thoughts. The fire is still raging. Terrible, just terrible...

The answer is NO!

So the H.O. takes #1 to school this morning and gets cornered by one of the other mothers. She said she'd appreciate it if I could bring her kids (5 and 8) home with us after school. She has an appointment and will be at our house "about ...5-10 minutes" after we get back from school. The H.O., of course, volunteers me without so much as a call or text. I am made aware of this arrangement @ 11:00.
Fine whatever, it's ten minutes and the boys are all little buddies anyway...
The other mother calls me @ 12:15 to tell me that her appointment has been moved back until 2:30, and she'll be by to pick up the kids @ 3:15-3:30!!!
WHAT. THE. FUCK???!!! I would NEVER ask someone to do that, and I'm an asshole!
So now, a 10 minute favor has been turned into me acting as her daycare b/c she's too lazy/stupid/ignorant to deal with her schedule.
It won't happen again...EVER! That I can assure you! Fucking self-entitled, hippie, trust fund, California douchebags!
Just because I have nothing to do in the afternoon doesn't mean I have the time, or compunction, to deal with BS like this...

From here on out, unless I'm getting remunerated, the answer is NO!

Dr. JB said I should just turn 'em loose in the neighborhood...don't give me any ideas!

News you can use...

Wanting to buy a carbon bike next year? You'd better go out and buy it right now! Word on the street from Eurobike 2010 is that raw carbon prices are going up...by about 66%!!! Maybe Toray is raising prices because they are now advertising on CNN...
Guess I should start looking for something...

Going to Geelong for the Worlds? Take your swimmies!

A. Schleck and Stuey got their drink on. Riis wasn't happy! Lighten up Barney...it's not like these guys haven't kicked ass for you all season. Of course, they are leaving your employ in about 8 weeks, so...

That DB Landis filed a whistle-blower lawsuit? Really? Even though everything he has in his pocket is hearsay? He's using the 'False Claims Act'? In that case, I'm filing one on behalf of the American people against Floyd for wasting taxpayer dollars for this utter fucking nonsense. Floyd will end up one of three ways. Living in LeMond's guest house, living under a bridge, or hanging from that very same bridge. What a putz!

As for me...
Doug and I did a great ride out into Calhoun County yesterday. Nearly three hours with some tempo thrown into the middle part. Out with a headwind, home with the tail, as it should be.
This morning I did the HoD(tm) loop with no real plan other than rolling my legs over.
I'm tired and mentally drained. The H.O.'s family decided to grace us with their presence last night. Of course, that meant I had to cook for everyone. I think they only stop by when they want some attention, and a good meal.

I also dug out my copy of 'Riding Giants' last night. It's possibly the best sports documentary ever made. The word EPIC should be used to describe this movie, and rightly so. If you haven't seen it, hit up Netflix and get it coming your way! It's beautifully shot and edited, and is more than a surf movie. Just watch it...

Peace and chicken grease...

Saturday

I did a nice, easy, relatively slow tour of the old Thursday loop this morning. That is until I turned onto Airbase. I caught the back of a dumptruck and paced him at north of 65kmh until he slowed to turn into McEntire ANG Base. I settled in, and was just getting sucked along in the draft.
After that, I just rolled in. Nice day out there this morning...other than the fact that my 40 year old body is still trying to purge the Barium that I ingested on Thursday. Yeah, that shit just can't be good for you.

Speaking of motorpacing, my old pal Spence did something today that falls somewhere in the gray area that lies between slightly insane and very cool. Most of us, when the urge to pace hits, go anywhere from 2 minutes to 2 hours. Spence decided to motorpace from Charlotte, where he lives, to Holden Beach, NC. If you're curious, that's 200 miles!!! No, that's not a typo...


View Larger Map

How long did he ride? 7 hours 52 minutes! No, that's not a typo either! That's a bit North of 25mph. Impressed? You should be! He said he was 'smoked'...ya think?

Waiting for the H.O. to get home from Tatertown so we can go eat something...

I love living downtown...

You're close to everything, even the wannabe gang-banger douchebags that inhabit the lower portion of my neighborhood.

Here's the short play-by-play:

A Rider is heading out for a nice ride on his cross bike.
A low-pants wearing, 17 year old, wannabe Crip of African descent picks up a rock.
A Rider eyeballs the DB as he rolls past.
@ 3 seconds later, the rock goes skipping by The Rider's leg.
The Rider grabs a handful of rear brake, slides around 180 degrees and heads back.
Jackass rock-thrower get immediately apologetic when faced with a 40 year old guy who has him by 6 inches and 50 pounds.
The Rider offers to cave in the rock-thrower's cranium with extreme prejudice.
Rock thrower's buddy chimes in. The same offer is extended to him as well.
The Rider remounts and rides off. Count 1...2...3...4...5...
The two DBs started flapping gums and call The Rider names consistent with their upbringing and educational background.
The Rider swings around again and extends the invitation for the aforementioned DBs to repeat their tribal calls.
Both clam up like the low-pants, wannabe Crips that they are...
The Rider then quotes Jay-Z, further blowing their drug-addled, syphilis affected, walnut-sized brains.
"You know the type, loud as a motorbike, but wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight..."
The pair of now mentally-castrated, future guests of the State, stand with even dumber-than-stock looks on their faces.
The Rider turns again and rolls away, not looking back and not hearing a word from behind.

I guess they didn't want to explain getting their asses kicked by a guy in lycra.

Moral of the Story? Baggy pants hide tiny balls!


As for the medical report, I had an upper GI flouroscopy this morning. The 'air crystals' were bad, and are continuing to cause trouble in my GI tract. The barium itself smelled okay, but tasted like ground up school chalk mixed into latex paint, with mint. Results? TBD.
I can tell you with some degree of certainty that I will NOT be on the bike tonight or tomorrow, simply because I'd rather not have ANY of the shit that I ingested this morning make a return visit. Right now, it feels like I drank a cup of Quikrete and it's just about done hardening in my gullet.

Oh, and a query. Why is that when you are actively looking for something on Ebay, you can't find it, but when you're broke, there are 47 of that particular item?

Website of the Day/Week/Month/Year/Decade

http://www.jensvoigtfacts.com/

More dirt madness...

Yeah, these cats are French, but the sheer size of their balls makes them eligible for Colorado citizenship. The margin for error on that descent is, indeed, minuscule. Go over the edge and you'll likely beat the rest of the guys on bikes to the bottom!

I'm no mountain biker, nor do I make any claims as to my (lack of) singletrack prowess. I just like cool vids like the one above!


Went out for a spin last night and discovered that some fitness seems to be welling up inside me. The meds are working better, and my change in diet seems to have quelled the coup d'etat in my GI tract, so I've begun to push a bit. The last couple of rides, I've made the effort to, well, make the effort. Slowly wicking the pace until it's someone near the entrance of the cave...and it hasn't been so bad.
I have another poke and prod procedure on Thursday. This one involves me swallowing a pressure sensor attached to a string. Large quantities of H2O are then forced down my gullet to discern the pressure within my esophagus and to determine whether the muscles surrounding it are working properly. Sweeeeeet! Can't wait...

No gnus is good gnus...

Nothing much to report here. Didn't ride yesterday, but changed out the crossbars on my roof rack. 48" bars went away in favor of 58" bars. Thhought for a moment about using the 78" bars I have laying around, but it would have looked re-donk-u-lous! With the 58" setup, I can carry 5 bikes on the roof. Likely never will, but nice to know that the option is there.
Smashed the piss out of my hand and bled a little bit of my own blood. Also wicked up the flame on my OCD during the install. Minute measurements, making sure everything is square and straight and OCD just do not mesh well. I must have walked around my truck, eye-balling it and whipping out the tape to measure, a good 35-40 times.

I did take the M.T.s to the rivertrail so they could ride. #1 is cautious and tentative. He just rode as I jogged beside him. #2 has a little bit of downhiller in him. He bolted down one section of trail, crossed the bridge and made the 90 degree turn at the bottom...all at about 20mph. Sure, not fast by our standards, but for a 3 year old on 12" wheels and no brakes, it's hauling ass! The H.O. yelled and screamed for him to slow down. As is the norm, it was a waste of breath on her part.

The Vuelta started...I watched the TTT, but haven't taken the time to see any more. Maybe tomorrow...

#2 is off school all week, so my morning rides have been shot in the keister. Guess I'll be riding in the evenings, when it's not cool outside. Great...

Ukraine shows how it's done...

This is from their 19th anniversary of independence celebration...good stuff!




I did just shy of 3 hours on the cross bike this morning. Actually gave it some stick a few times. Felt pretty decent...

Algebra

X= Mike Montgomery
Y= Monster freestyle MTB dirt course
Z= GoPro helmet cam

X (+) Y (+) Z = Balls > Brains



Makes the two hours I spent on the dirt this morning look like...well...flat and smooth dirt...

It was a peaceful, albeit not so easy loop on the cross bike this morning. I actually made the effort to put it somewhere near the pain cave on this section of dirt. 15 minutes rolling @ 35kmh on the dirt. I guess I must have been riding hard, because I didn't notice my computer head pop off. Some of you can probably figure out where this is, and you are more than welcome to saddle up and come with me next time. It's big fun...

See you when I see you...

Sign your donor card!

Mid-week check

It seems the silly season has gotten underway in Europe.

Haussler and Hushovd to Garmin? Sastre and Menchox to Geox. And a whole slew of names to the new Schleck team...

La Vuelta starts Saturday...yippee!

Evidently, people are a bit fired up about Cross Vegas not having equal prize money for the men and women elite riders. Waaaaaaahhhhhh! Get a freaking tissue! Title IX run amok and creating entitlement. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the female of the species being competitive, but in reality, folks just aren't ponying up to watch the WNBA. The league is subsidized by the NBA. What makes $ in college athletics? Football and Men's hoops. The money made from those two sports pays for ALL of the other sports programs. Hell, at Carolina, the baseball program operates in the red...and they're NATIONAL CHAMPIONS!!!!
Back to cycling...
Adam Myerson is putting on a cross race with equal $ for the men and women. Guess how many women have registered thus far? ZERO! Adam made a commitment to them, yet no commitment has been returned. He puts on an entire series of races in the NE and people are calling him out for broaching the subject of female participation.
To me, equal payout doesn't mean equal money. If 75 guys register for a 35+ race that pays 15 deep, the payout should come from the monies collected for that particular race. Same if 12 women show up for their race. The promoter needs his piece to cover expenses, but there are sponsor dollars to defray that expense. Hell, I've been to races that have had payouts 10 deep, and 7 women show up! The ratio should be on a money in/money out basis. It's simple math!

And speaking of racing, Fulspeed is doing the Vista Grand Prix on September 26th, down in the Vista. Shorter course this year, show it should be fast and furious. I will not be toeing the line, as it's against Doc's orders, but I'll be there shooting pics.

As for me, I had yet another appt. with yet another GI Doc this morning. More tests/procedures in the coming days, but it looks like we're getting things figured out. Probably will go under the knife in the near future, but if it fixes the issues I'm dealing with, "Cut me Mick"!!!
I did get a ride in yesterday. Felt like shit, but that's pretty par for the course these days. Ups and downs...

I also finished a build for client yesterday afternoon. I neglected to take any pictures prior to delivery...dammit! I can say though, for the $, you just cannot beat the Motobecane Fantom Pro cross bike. $999 shipped!!! Sure, there are things that could be better on it and the factory pre-box build could be better, but those things are easily taken care of upon receipt. Try to source the frame and build kit for less than a grand...I dare you! Oh, and before you crap on it for being mail order, it's the exact same bike, other than the wheelset, as the Fuji Cross Pro. And it's $1649!!!

Anyway, time to pick up the offspring @ their respective schools...peace!

Welcome to Jeopardy

I'll take "Things that are going to Suck" for $500 please Alex.

I don't know the outcome of this chute, but I'm betting it wasn't enjoyable...

Reality check

Just in case any of us think we can handle a bicycle in a proficient manner, please watch Brian Lopes in the video posted below. It's four and one-half minutes, which should be plenty of time to re-assess your own abilities.



My little brain doesn't work fast enough to assess all of the incoming information. Lopes must just turn it off and flow. I felt like I was in the speeder bike, forest chase scene, from Return of The Jedi.

Did a nice ride out into Calhoun County yesterday. There's a way to get out there now that avoids all of the WC traffic, which isn't nearly as bad as those who flatly refuse to ride out there falsely believe. The only thing we got buzzed by yesterday was a short-legged Beagle. And we went out with the headwind and came back with the tail...what a novel idea.

Now it's time for some yardwork. The back yard is looking like winter wheat...

The Icelandic futbol boys are back!

Someone you should know...

Michael Creed...if you don't root for this guy after reading this article, then YOU have a problem. He's brutally honest and a stand-up guy. If I was running a team, I'd want 6 of him!

Think Spartacus can do the double? The only reason he didn't do it last year was the fact that the rest of the peloton feared him. I think they covered his move to the bathroom.

Rode the Ridley yesterday...it was really weird. I've been riding my cross bike on the dirt for the vast majority of my rides, so the road unit felt truly odd under me. I could tell the difference in the Q-factor and it just felt 'light'. I felt tired, but just spun @ 22mph w/o much problem. I also rode the 3x/32h wheels with Vitt Open Paves. Like butter...

The Salsa got the call again this morning. Thankfully, I remembered to stick the fender on the back, which was a savior. It was WET down in the fields. I don't mean a 'dew-on-the-grass' kind of wet, but more a 'where are my swimmies' kind of thing. I also spied another dirt road that NEEDS to be explored...maybe Sunday.

Off the bike tomorrow and on the roadie for Saturday...

I hate GEICO, as they largely suck as an insurance company (ask Mrs. Der Kaiser), but this is just funny!

Sorry this was a lame update, but then again, not all of them can be superstars!

Peace!

Tuesday...

Here's the Heathwood cross loop. It was VERY wet this morning, as you can see by the water flipping up in front of the camera. Oh, and I apologize for the vid. The camera is on a hard mount, connected to the bars, so parts are shaky...nothing I can do about that...
Watch until the end and you see me almost get popped by a pickup truck! COOOOOL!
Barriers and some 'esses' will be added to the course, so the 6-6:30 laps may become 7+ minute laps. Of course, the grass is heavy down there right now and it's WET, so the loop may get faster later on.

And last Sunday, I scouted some dirt on in WC and ended up on the 12th St. extension beyond I-77...it's paved all the way out now, and blocked on both ends. Looks like a good spot to do a little bike practice...

Other than that, not much else to say...

And speaking of frames...

Food for your head

JPM flogs a ZR-1 Vette. All cars should sound this way...

People talk about bikes being 'NOS' (New Old Stock), but this Masi is a bit of a twist...

Ullrich has 'burnout syndrome'? From what?

An interview with Ted King. He's cool and seems to have a bit of the 'old cloth' woven into his tapestry.

Here are 'The Rules' again, for those who missed them, or have forgotten one (or more)...

An observation from me, myself and I...
-If you do not remember the time in cycling that pre-dated 'The Lance Era', do not use the words 'OLD SCHOOL'. Unless you've watched Tchmil crush skulls in the 94 Roubaix, just be quiet.

It's coming...

Rides:
Did 2.5 with La Gata and Rochester yesterday. Felt great until we stopped for H2O. 1/2 of a bottle of cold water, on an empty stomach is bad news. I felt BAAAAD for the last 30 minutes or so. Good ride though....big fun.

Up and at 'em early this morning. Insomnia shook me awake at 0330, so I got up @ 0530 and was on the bike @ 0630. Nice ride out through WC while El Sol cracked the horizon. Stopped down by the river for a moment to enjoy the solitude, then home. Nice to be done and showered by 0900!

Gonna try to get video of the cross course again tomorrow. The mount seems very solid now...we'll see!

Peace!

Quickie

Okay, so remember that Lizard Skins tape I installed on the Salsa? Yeah? Well, it sucks a mile of ditch water.
The package touts it as having 'superior grip', even when wet. That's a fallacy of the highest order. It's as slick as seal shit on an ice flow. Now granted, I don't wear gloves when the temps are above 50 degrees or so, unless I'm in the woods or racing, but that shouldn't matter. With my usual Deda tape, there's no fear associated with holding onto the handlebars. This morning, once I'd worked up even the smallest bit of moisture on my hands, the Lizard Skins tape became glacial. Holding onto the tops of the bars was an exercise in grip strength.
My right palm is actually bruised from my effort!
It may be perfectly fine with gloves, or in a situation that dictates no sweating will occur, but in 90 degree heat, with bare hands, look elsewhere. Oh, it's $30+ dollars too, which also makes the seat of my pants hurt a bit.

It's getting pulled off and replaced with something cheaper, and better. I'll hang onto it and try it again when the weather cools down, but for now, I just cannot recommend it.

Oh, and the video from this morning's jaunt looked like an epileptic with Tourette's shot it. Gotta sure up the mount a bit to stop the shaking...