30 April 2009

Run for the hills...as long as there are no pigs there...

People, settle the fuck down! More people die of obesity everyday, yet the Pres-O-dent isn't on TV yapping about it. There are 3 BILLION+ people on Earth and a few hundred have the piggy pox. I'll take those odds.
The local news, which admittedly sucks, did a story about BBQ joints and the Swine Flu last night. If you guys were grasping for that last straw, I think you may have just reached it! DHEC is reporting 10 'probable' cases because the kids are sick and just got back from a Senior trip to Mexico. Could it be the regular flu, or just a plain old cold? Considering they flew to a Third World country, partied for a solid week and then got into another flying incubator to fly home, I'd say they are just sick. I ALWAYS get sick after flying. Breathing other people's stale breath and germs just cannot be good for your health.
Egypt is killing 1/2 of their entire pig population, even though they have NO confirmed cases. Some 300,000 pigs are getting a bullet! The rest they are moving away from population centers. Did they miss the memo that the Swine Flu spreads through human contact?

As usual, the media and government are fanning the flames of panic. I'm waiting for the conspiracy theory nutbags to start the banter. "The Government let the virus loose to weed out
(insert a group of your choice here)."

Good God people, obesity is a pandemic. AIDS is a pandemic. Malaria is a pandemic. Cancer is a pandemic.
As for me, I ate bacon yesterday...and it was good!

Riding w/group tonight, but splitting off early. Racing tomorrow and Saturday.

Ward's new bike is cooler than yours...

28 April 2009

That was quick...

The TNCWC was the fastest of the year, and the second fastest in the 7 year history of the race, thanks to Team TIBCO. It always nice when you turn around and Brooke Miller is standing next to you. For those that don't know who she is, you should! She didn't get the Stars and Stripes jersey just because she looks good in it...and if you're wondering, she looks DAMN good in it!
Anywho, the pace was high and stayed high for @ 50 of the 55 minutes. There were some attacks, but NOTHING was getting away tonight. The pace was just too high. The time passed quickly. With 3 to go, the pace slackened, only to get jacked HIGH on the last two. Tibco hit the front with one to go and gave what can only be described as a proper leadout...for Rich! Rich came around at the finish and gave PV the win. The streak continues...
Thanks to the Tibco ladies for coming out tonight and gracing us with their presence. They are all very strong and very cool! We'll get to watch them kick ass on Friday night in Spartanburg and Saturday in Charlotte.
Oh, and if you're curious, the fastest crit ever was the night the HealthNet boys showed up 5 years ago. That was a ripper! Thankfully, I missed that pain due to recovery from hernia surgery, but it was cool to watch from the comfort of my easy chair!
I got nothing else...time for bed!

Holy Sheeeeuuuuutttt....!!!!!

I'm an unabashed NASCAR fan. I'm no bandwagon jumper either. I've been watching NASCAR for the majority of my 39 years. Thanks to the huge TV deal, some of it has become terribly boring. Sunday in Talledega was not one of those races. Cars running right @ 200mph, door to door makes for good TV.
The end of the race got a little nutty...
The fence did it's job, the car did it's job and Carl Edwards did a little "Ricky Bobby".

TNCWC tonight @ 6:30. Rumor has it that TIBCO will be in attendance. Mmmmm...racer chicks....

27 April 2009

26 April 2009


Today was a simple kind of day on the bike.
Went out solo...no one to wait on to go ride...
Did my standard 2 hour loop through LR...
Stayed @ 20 mph...uphill, downhill, headwind, tailwind...whatever...
Came home with exactly 2 hours and 40.2 miles...
Simple plan accomplished.

I did need a tire lever though. I flatted my front wheel and struggled to remove the tire. I used the skewer and still had trouble. I fought it for a solid 10 minutes or so before getting pissed off and channeling Popeye. I got the skewer started and ripped the tire off barehanded.
And much to my shock, someone actually stopped to see if I needed help...amazing...I was all but finished with the repair, but I appreciate his deed!

25 April 2009

Hans Solo

Did the group ride Thursday...felt really flat. My back started cramping at one point, so I just sat up. With all of the back issues I've had in the past few years, I don't F around with back pain. I stretched a bit and caught back on when the group (all 5 of them) were soft pedaling on Double Homey.
Pretty much everyone was racing today, either in Athens @ the Twilight, or at the Tour de Moore in NC, so I let the H.O. have the morning to go to the gym. I wasn't feeling a solo ride outside, as doing efforts alone sucks...at least for me. I opted for the turbo instead. Yes, I know it was BEAUTIFUL outside today!
I did 60 minutes @ 90% with 10 30/30s throw in for good measure. It spun the soreness out of my legs...kind of...
It seems there's no ride tomorrow. I'm riding outside. I need some sun on my pasty body. A couple of hours will be just fine...not wasting another nice day.

23 April 2009

An end of the week message

Did an easy spin last night. It was nice to just ride, no worries about speed or HR or power. Beautiful night too!

Ride tonight @ 6 from the gate.

And now, on to our message...

21 April 2009


Big field full of HP...check
Full 50 minutes plus 2 laps...check
The field was pretty big tonight and it was full of HP. Breaks went and came back the entire night. The final break of 7 got away @ 40 minutes or so and included 4 PV guys.
Since the timing got screwed up last week, I jumped out @ 45 minutes to make sure the final laps were called correctly. With one to go, the break was still together and had 15 seconds or so. The pace must have gotten jacked in the bunch on the backstretch, because the break was all but pulled back.
Bond put the hammer down and crossed the line with a small gap. Doog was second and Coco third. Dr. LP finished it off in 5th. Another strong finish by the team!
Some old faces were out tonight too. The reason they were in town was not a good one, but it was good to see them nonetheless.
As for me, I actually felt better than expected and stayed in without suffering too badly. It was my first real sustained effort since eating it and I could tell a few things. My ribs are not 100%...not even close...maybe 75% or so, I've lost some fitness and my racing mentality hasn't quite returned yet. The first few laps, diving the corners was not an altogether enjoyable act. I settled down after about 20 minutes though. I'll be good to go next week.

20 April 2009

4 days...

Nothing like trying to come back from injury by riding 5 out of 6 days. Maybe not the best plan since things went progressively downhill.
Thursday, as I have chronicled, was somewhere between okay and good.
Friday, I returned to the scene of my 'incident'. Didn't crash this time and felt decent just spinning around for 90 minutes.
Saturday, I doubted anyone would show for the Saturday ride so I did 6x5' intervals @ 97-100% on the trainer. I hate the trainer, but I can push myself harder on it than I can outside when riding solo and I only had to devote about 60 minutes to the effort. I felt decent, but really struggled to finish the workout. I worked on bikes for the rest of the afternoon.
Gordon's Cervelo...done...until today when I install the new, ceramic BB...
Ladd's Madone...done...bent chainring replaced...
Ladd's TT bike...done...cables pulled and brake situation handled...ready for the wind tunnel!
My Ridley...new bars installed, headset rebuilt, new tape, cleaned completely...
Sunday was one of those days when your head tells you to just stay home, but as is usually the case, I didn't listen. I felt pretty good going out through the Fort and out Percival to Screaming Eagle. Halfway up, the wheels came off the bus. Thankfully, Mrs. Der Kaiser wasn't feeling too chipper either and sat up with me. We struggled home together...slowly! I felt baaaad! I'm making the effort to drop some poundage off my big self, so I didn't eat a lot on Saturday night. I paid retail for that decision! I was brushing against a full-on bonk by the time I rolled into the yard.
#2's birthday party was yesterday afternoon, so I ate sammiches and cake, as well as breaking my own rule about 'no calories from liquid'! Sweet tea, will in fact, bring you around!
Crit Tuesday night...I'll be keeping time...

17 April 2009

Bizarro World

So I went out for the group ride last night, only there was no group. I guess the majority of intown people are either racing or have just given up.
Anywho, the small group that did show meandered out and continued meandering until we crossed Cabin Creek (full loop next week...it was dark when we rolled through the 'hood last night @ 8 and the shorter loop is 5 miles less than the full Elon route!). Philip and RW took off and we let them roll off before deciding to chase. They stayed away across the cut through and about 1/3 of the way up Clarkson. Beano took a suicide pull and brought it back...then promptly got blown out the back. At this point, it was 4 of us taking pretty hard pulls. We all stayed together until the end of the ride. Well, kind of...
Philip attacked on Shop, and seeing as I cannot stand to sprint, nor can I pull on the bars, I stayed behind RW and Reed. We caught the green light @ Atlas and I took my own suicude pull to close Philip down on the bridge. RW pulled through and I was done...tailed off on the run in to the sprint. It looked like Philip won. I caught back on at the turn and we rolled in.
My legs were good last night, but I just couldn't move around on the bike. I was forced to sit and just grind. No standing out of corners for the kid. I'd tail off a few meters before a turn and then just roll through as fast as I could to make up the gap. About a dozen of those on a ride tend to wear on the low back and hip flexors. Surprisingly, I could breathe pretty well. My ribs hurt, but I HTFU and gutted it out.
This morning, my back and ribs are sore, but I feel waaay better. I think riding actually helped the injury!
I may go out with the boys tonight to spin around. I guess tomorrow will be a solo ride since no one bothers to show up to the Saturday ride anymore...
Ride Sunday w/Il Prof. The normal spot @ 9am.

15 April 2009

Holy sprint finish crash Batman!

14 April 2009


PV swept the top four spots...sounds like the timing went awry in my absence though...

I bailed as I really didn't feel like getting wet and having to clean a bike. Even though the rain had stopped, it was still wet. Call me a wuss if you like, but I'm recovering nicely from my tete-a-tete with the ground, so any unnecessary risk will not be taken by the kid.
I did, however, go to the ManHole(tm) and knocked out 65' on the trainer. My back and ribs loosened up after about 15 minutes and the rest of my injuries seem to be healed, so I upped the tempo to SST for the last 50'. Got a really good sweat and spin. I may venture outside to ride tomorrow night and Thursday. I have decided that racing this weekend is a bad idea, so I'm skipping Charleston.
My breathing is fine, but I can't pull on the bars out of the saddle, so racing will wait until the first weekend of May.
Still haven't bought a new helmet...wearing my old (uncrashed) Atmos...
The deciding moment @ Roubaix...

13 April 2009


I watch Roubaix every year with joy in my heart. Yesterday was no different! It's hard to understand just HOW it can get more epic and exciting than the year before, but somehow, L'Enfer du Nord surprises us. I watched with attention that I rarely devote to anything else.

It was a warm-ish, dry-ish, windy-ish day, but the action was furious. Guys just killing it...

There was no laying down arms at any point. From Sector 18, throught Arenberg, all the way to the finish, it was game on! Yesterday was a day of fortune. Crashes, mechanicals and flats did the choosing.

The True Hardmen of the North were at the sharp end when those decisions were made. Lady Luck smiled on Tommeke and crapped on big names like Flecha, Hoste, and Hincapie. Sorry George, but maybe it isn't in the cards for you to win this race.

Boonen was too strong. It wouldn't mattered at all if Pozzato had made the bridge...he just would have lost in the velodrome.

deVlaminck should be worried about his "Mr. Roubaix" moniker....

11 April 2009

Back in the saddle...

After a week of recovery, I felt (sort of) well enough to get on the trainer and stretch my not-so-healed body back into some semblance of a cycling position. The first 15 minutes were interesting at best. After the blood started flowing, the next 30 minutes went by without much effort or drama. The only thing that was bothersome were the ribs, but I felt better for the spin. Granted, my HR never got above 140, nor did I get in a gear bigger than 39/14...
Some of the PV boys went out this morning, so I tagged along for my first ride on the road since 'the incident'. There were supposed to be 6 of us, but Meat had some issues with time and meeting place...we never saw him. Once we quit fiddling with our collective peckers, the ride fell into a nice, tempo-ish paceline. We rode out into the swamp, did the long, outside loop and came back in Airbase.
My fitness is definitely still there, as I could follow wheels and pull through at any speed. The problem is the fact that I can't make any sharp accelerations. No standing, no pulling on the bars, etc...
The mental part of getting back on the back seems to have passed. For the first hour or so, I was nervous and just felt out of sorts. I guess it's to be expected after eating shit and getting my bell rung.
A few guys are going to the mountains tomorrow to chase Doog around for 4 or 5 hours. Me, I'm riding...to Chesterfield with the family to do Easter with the in-laws...Happy Easter to me! I'll be floating on a wave of RedBull and Flexeril.
Roubaix tomorrow...and I'll be completely out of touch with the civilized World. Thanks to whoever invented the DVR!

08 April 2009


Didn't ride as I am still recovering from my cagematch with the tarmac. The group was noticeably thinner last night as it was 52 and the wind was HOWLING. There was virtually no filler out and what was there was quickly shuffled out the back. And by quickly, I mean between laps 1 and 4.
The pace started high and stayed high. Bond hit the front and turned it to 11. Of course, the four following him included Ward, Doog, GW, and Coco. No horsepower there, eh?
After two laps, Doog and Ward got away and stayed away for a good long time. @25 minutes, the group caught them and the remainder of the race was lined out. The was no accordian, no sitting up, no bullshit. It was a night for the hardmen.
It came down to a bunch gallop with Coco showing clean wheels to Doog and Ward. SoPro said it was harder than Redlands, so there you go...
As for me, recovery is as recovery goes. Some things don't hurt anymore, some things have only begun to hurt in the last 24 hours.
Road rash is fine. Concussion fog is lifting. Headache largely gone. Ribs sore. Neck and shoulder pain are new, but getting better. I think I may have slightly separated it. I've done it a few times before and the discomfort is remarkably similar!
It woke me up last night @ 3a.m.
In turn, I medicated with a butylbital and two flexeril and grabbed a bag of frozen veggie soup out of the freezer to put on my neck and shoulder. The meds took hold and the lights went OUT. I woke up this morning in a puddle of water from the n0-longer-frozen bag o'soup. Thankfully, the bag didn't rupture!
I've been cleared to ride on Friday. For a fleeting moment, I considered doing the beer ride, but the threat of another concussion is very high on that particular ride, so I may just spin around by myself. If anyone wants to ride, hit me up...

05 April 2009

Turn it up LOUD!

09 Flanders

Last 4 minutes of Flanders...
Embed isn't working...you'll have to use the hyperlink...sorry...

04 April 2009


Almost 24 hours on, I'm feeling like I got into the cage and beat the hell up. My wounds are all scabbed over, but are kind of tender. Those will be fine in a couple of days. My neck is really stiff and my ribs feel like I got the Rocky treatment.
The effects of whacking my melon are still very evident. I'm still foggy and thoughts come to me slowly...well, slower than usual! My headache is starting to dissipate...just a dull ache at this point, but definitely still hanging around. My speech is very slow and deliberate, which is a rare thing for me.
I haven't looked at the bike yet...kind of afraid to...I know bikes and parts can be replaced, but hitting the ground on a $6000+ bike still sucks ditch water!
The H.O. has taken good care of me today. I've been camping on Clifford, the big red couch. I' didn't sleep at all last night, so I'm very tired.
Thanks to everyone who has commented and called. I really appreciate it!

I'm going to check out the bike tomorrow. I'll be back on in a week or so. I'm actually going to sit for a few days and heal, rather than my normal routine of riding hurt and causing other problems.

03 April 2009

I'm scuffed...

Meat, Coco and I met at the crit course tonight to spin around and loosen up for the weekend races. Everything was just fine until I stood up to accelerate. Here's where I get foggy, so the following is Meat recollection...

He says it looked like my chain popped of the big ring and I slipped the gear, causing me to eat a large ration of pavement. I'm guessing, from the nature of my wounds, that I went over the bars and landed on my left side...right in the middle of the front straight...at @ 22 mph. It was NOT a gradual stop.

An inventory of my injuries is as follows...

Three fingers and wrist, left forearm and elbow, left shoulder, left middle-back, left hip, left knee, left ankle and left shin all look like I was attacked by an angry cheese grated. My hip is SWOLLEN! My right knee must have hit the top tube, as it's really painful. My right elbow is ripped up as well. I also have a concussion and a cut on the back of my head from the helmet. My 4 week old Giro Atmos is destroyed. The back of it is smashed flat and shattered.
I'm missing about 30-40 minutes of time due to the impact to my head. I have zero recollection of the crash. I remember riding and the next thing was sitting on the bumper of the fire truck.
Coco called the H.O. to come get me. The time that passed was probably 20 minutes, but in my concussed little brain, it was the blink of an eye.
She called Langston and he, in turn, called Providence to tell them we were inbound. I got right in and promptly went to CT and Xray. Fortunately, nothing is broken or lacerated/ruptured. They gave me some reaaalllly nice IV pain meds and scrubbed out my wounds.
Needless to say, I won't be racing this weekend. Charleston is up in the air...for now.
The Ridley is missing some clearcoat on the seatstay. The brand new D/A shifters I just installed are fraked. My brand new ROL Race SL wheels (first ride on them!!!) both have a bit of character. I'll give the bike a proper inspection tomorrow. Hopefully, there's nothing serious wrong with it. I needed new bars anyway, so those will be ordered soon. Uncle Shrews will get my wheels on Monday.
Right now, I'm pretty fuzzy. I don't know if it's my body responding to the injuries or the meds...likely a bit of both.
Thanks to Meat and Coco for making sure I wasn't injured further. Thanks to the firefighters for helping to patch me up. Special big thanks to Lang, who wasn't working, but called the ER to tell them I was coming. The folks at Providence are first class. They took me in, assessed me and patched me up...all with speed and smiles.
I'm getting sleepy...I'll update tomorrow. Good luck to my team-mates in Rock Hill this weekend. Hopefully, I've taken up all of the bad/crash karma for everyone for a while.
Crashing sucks!

Rain or shine

The rain yesterday was a downer, but I just couldn't bring myself to ride the trainer last night. I knew there would be no group ride and the H.O. decided she was going to work late, unbenounced to the rest of her family...
Once she finally made it home, I got my stuff on and ran out the door for a ride. I did the HoP(tm) loop and added a little bit to the end, including some parking garage efforts. I came home in the dark, but felt better for the ride. I left my cross bike outside, thinking I would take it down to the ManHole once I'd cleaned up...bzzzzt, wrong answer. I completely forgot about it until the H.O. asked me if cared that it was getting rained on. It's not that I care if it's wet or dirty, but leaving it in the rain was disrespectful and I for that, I am sorry!
90 minutes was enough last night. I threw a 25 minute effort in the middle for good measure.

And an open note to the fat ass in flip-flops, walking in the rain to the bar in the Vista...
Maybe you should channel some of your impotent rage into exercise instead of eating chicken wings and drinking $2 pitchers @ Wild Wing. Yelling obscenities at some guy who's just out trying to stay healthy is not a hobby. I know your even fatter girlfriend got a kick out of it, but it was a sophomoric effort at best. Do you think that being called a spandex-wearing-fag really bothers me? I've been called worse, by a better class of people! How did you feel after I responded by asking about your man-tits? Your girlfriend thought THAT was even funnier! She should have been offended, considering your cup size was easily larger than hers.
As Dean Wormer said..."fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son..."
You did kind of looked like Flounder, now that I think about it!
I may be wholly average as a cyclist, but when it comes to smart-ass remarks, I have my Pro Card!