09 April 2014

Well, it's here...

The future is upon us, and it's not going to make cycling any better...

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I give you the Garmin Edge 1000

IMO, this is the sort of thing that is slowly choking the life, and enjoyment out of cycling.  I hate to be the Luddite here, but is all of this really NEEDED.
Look, I understand the cycling industry's need to push technology, and to sell customers the "new shit", but will any of this benefit "the ride"?
Be honest...
The only reason to purchase this is to have the newest, and bestest, Garmin.  It's the adult version of trying to outdo your schoolmates on the playground.
"Yeah, well my dad can beat up your dad..."

DCRainmaker has already reviewed the 1000, and gives some insight.  The review also raises questions, and forces some salient points out into the open.

I told you WiFi and Bluetooth were coming.  It's only a short hop to live-chats with your 'coach' during a ride.  And the pros?  They be monitored 24/7 by their Directeurs Sportif.

"Tommeke...Fabian is dropping you!  Why are you only turning 900w...?"

Sorry, but it's too much.  There's just no need for about 75% of the "features" on the 1000.  Christ, it gives "real-time challenge segments".  Live action Strava?  GTFO of here.
It's the "dazzle them with technology (and bullshit) that is becoming far too common in cycling theses days.  The ONLY way this technology will make one faster is by making them lighter...in the wallet...by $600.

And here's the 800-pound gorilla in the corner.  Most of these 'features' are already floating around out there.
Live tracking?  Yeah...Google MyTracks does that, and has for 2+ years.
MyTracks also gives speed, altitude, GPS coordinates, and mapping.
Call and texts? If one uses their smartphone as their computer, as many do, it's right on screen.
Di2 integration? If one has ridden long enough, one doesn't need to look at a screen to know what gear he/she is in.  Sheer minutia of the whole thing is insane.  Does one really need to know that they made 2% less power in their 39/18? 
And the size of the 1000?  BIG.  If you ride less than a 120-130mm stem, it ain't going on there.  May as well put my Galaxy Tab 2 7.0 on the bars.

If you have the money, and want it, then go buy it.  I have no issue with that.
Ask yourself first...
Will it make me a better rider?  And by better, I don't mean bigger, faster, stronger.
The knowledge that comes with years of riding is being pushed to the back, and replaced with the "knowledge" attained for spending $5000 at the shop.
That's not knowledge people... 

All of this tech crammed onto one's bars does little but distract the rider from the task at hand.
Riding the bike.
I don't know about you guys, but I get on my bicycle(s) to go outside, get some sun on my face, and enjoy the day.  And Dog forbid one makes some good friends.  Even on the hardest rides, there's a social aspect to cycling that's dying.
And not to be a dick, but if one is futzing with the their Garmin, or whatever the hell is on their bars, and takes me out, just keep riding.  Odds are, I'll make you eat the damn thing. Then, you can track how it travels through your digestive system.

Junk and I have been chatting about this this morning, and have figured that at some point in the not so distant future, folks will just put on their Oculus headgear, sync up to their laptop, climb onto their Computrainer, and dial up whatever ride...wherever on the planet.  Want to ride the Ventoux?   Ok...clickity, click, click...you're on the Ventoux.
You'll be able to tell who these people are by their distinct lack of tanlines, and inability to ride a straight line.
Of course, at that point, what's to stop having sunlamps in the bike room?
One thing Junk said this morning that I honestly HOPE comes to fruition?  No computer rides.  Or "clean bars" rides.
Nothing to distract.  Turn it all off, and leave it in the house.  Just riiiiiiiide....

Me?  I'll be the crazy old guy that people point at out of their triple-paned, xenon-infused windows, and say, "Look at that crazy, old fucker...riding outside..."

If you agree with me, great.  If not, well that's great too!
As Dennis Miller used to say, "...It's just my opinion, I could be wrong..."

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