Back amomgst the living...almost...

2011 K-B-K Final 6 kilometers...



2011 Het Nieuwsblad
Part one



Part two



Didn't the weather just look lovely over there? And one ponders why Gorgeous George is punishing the locals in the Greenville Spring Series? Hmmm, 75 degrees and sunny in South Carolina, versus the 30s and wind in Belgium....not a hard choice to make at the end of one's career, eh?

As for your intrepid writer here, convalesing is hard work. I took two Oxycodones last night @ 830 and woke up this morning @ 0915. A pharma-induced sleep will, in fact, make you wake up stiff and sore. I'm guessing I didn't roll around much last night, as my neck is JACKED today. I'm getting better by small percentages every day. I'm beginning to run into the mind/body conundrum now, 5 days post-op. I'll have moments during my day where the mind says, "Hey Jackleg, let's go outside and play...". These moments are quickly followed by an hour of the sickest I've ever felt, and being forced to lie flat and shallow breathing. The body is winning at this point...

I did get out to Harbor Freight Tools this morning. I bought a digital gram scale to weigh parts before putting them on Ebay, as every time I list something, some dickface sends me a note to see what it weighs. Doesn't matter what it is...could be a fucking brick, yet people want to know. The wife reminded me that I now have controlled substances AND a scale in the house. 2/3 of the way to a felony!!!

Hopefully, the Helium will make an appearance next week and I can get to work on it. Seriously batting around the idea of putting SRAM on it...idle hands...idle hands....

Awang update

UCI World Cup 2011 - Awang's Splinter Update from British Cycling on Vimeo.

And so it begins...

Now, I know we've already had so big pro races this season, but the TRUE season starts Saturday with Het Nieuwsblad (old Het Volk) on Saturday and Kuurne-Brussels-Kuurne Sunday. I know where I'll be both mornings this weekend...

Of course, I have ZERO choice in the matter....

Surgery went as well as can be expected when you get three procedures rolled into one 2 hour session in the O.R.! The night after surgery was something out of a horror movie. Nothing gets your attention quite as much as vomiting up your own blood. Funny thing? I felt better after selling the family Buick.
I feel like a short bus has been backed through my esophagus, parked there for a while, and then towed out by a Zamboni. To say my upper GI tract is sore could be considered the understatement of the decade. Everything causes shooting pains. The only position that doesn't illicit little-girl-squeals is sitting upright at an approximate 60 degree angle. Thank whoever pulls the strings upstairs that I haven't sneezed...yet...

I've eaten nothing but Jello and applesauce, and warm tea. I would straight choke someone out for Five Guys.

Looks like ZERO bike for at least two weeks...and then only rolling around for a couple of weeks after that. No matter, as I don't have a road bike anyway. Maybe I'll find a SS townie bike in the next week....

Update over...time for a pain pill...

Occupado

Nys finishes off the season with the overall GvA title. Looked like a fun course...



A bit of La Course en Tete for your head. It seems a bit more pure than today...



Merckx on the boards...

I'll in incommunicado for a couple of days (at least). My surgery is tomorrow morning @ 0900 @ LexMed. If you don't hear anything, that's good gnus. If the next post is a guest post by my lovely wife, then it will likely include news of my demise, and time/location of a memorial service.

Peace...

You want HARD?

Here's HARD...
Azizulhasni Awang from Malaysia took home the bronze in the Keirin on Saturday in Mancester. The news reports said he finished with a 'splinter' in his leg from the last turn shunt. I'm no expert, but I do know that a 'splinter' is something very small, that lodges under your skin. That is a big GD shard of the Mancester track that traveled THROUGH his calf. The word impaled comes to mind! Wonder if that stung?
It looks like every picture you've seen of post-hurricane damage! You know the one...!
Oh, and "Ipu Keparat" is how you scream MFer in Malay...

Here's the race and crash...



Oh, and Chris Hoy is a BEAST! 70+ kmh across the line. That's 43mph in American money!

A dilemmer

Yeah, I know...
Anyway, my dilemmer is a peculiar one. As has been written on this oh-so-entertaining website, I have a new Ridley Helium coming. It's pretty bad ass, obviously, will be nigh on 16 pounds, and fit me well, as have all of my previous Ridleys.
I've also had discussions with the fine folks at Hampsten, Steve Hampsten if we're dropping names, about getting a custom steel frame built. Not just any generic steel either. We're talking a tig-welded Columbus Max tubeset, and custom paint based on the famous Molteni Merckx bikes of yore. The plan would be to build it with 7900, or maybe go balls deep and hang Di2 on it. Weight? Around 18.5 pounds. The ride? Sublime... My Molteni Merckx frame is one that I never should have let go. There was no pressing need to sell it, I just sort of...did. Worst part...I just looked, and I don't think I even have a photo of the damn thing!

I'm torn people! On this morning's ride, PD and I talked about the dilemmer, and the discussion only lead to muddier water. Dammit!

Oh, and as an aside, here's the proper fitment of a skinsuit, as modeled by Victoria Pendleton...
And on that note...

Armstrong retirement 3.0

So LA has hung it up again. To be honest, as divisive as he's been, throughout his career, he will be missed by the peloton. There is no other patron lurking in the bunch. Sure, there are guys who are looked at with reverence, like Jens Voigt, Fabian Cancellara and a few others, but none demand the respect that Lance has over the years.
Now, I'm well aware that there are pros that look at LA with a jaundiced eye, for myriad reasons, but when he spoke, even they listened.
Is he a hero? To some, yes. Is he an asshole? Most likely. Will he be missed? Yep.

Reason for retirement? I'm going to opine here for a moment...
I'm sure he'll say the rigors of training, traveling and being away from his 5 children, which I'm quite sure is partially true. My belief is that he's feeling the heat from the Novitsky investigation and has realized that the battle is probably best fought out of the limelight that follows European cycling.

Don't look for a synopsis of the investigation, or doping, as I really don't give a damn about either. EVERY rider in the bunch was doped to the gills in the Lance Armstrong era. Am I naive enough to think that he didn't dope? Of course not. I think he just did it better than the others. The playing field was level. Oh, and don't forget, he's never tested positive. Rumor, innuendo, and Floyd Landis' crazy rantings aside, there's been ZERO hard evidence of a positive.

I just hope he doesn't turn into a joke, a la LeMond. Some are treating him as such already, but one must remember, before you start calling him a doper, a cheater, or a liar, every hero of past generations was on the AvGas of the time. Hell, Merckx even got caught, MORE THAN ONCE, and he's still thought of as the greatest cyclist of all-time.

Distance and time usually lead to clearer perspective. This will be the case with Lance. The people who are Lance haters now have more than likely adopted this attitude because it's the popular thing to do. I wish I had a time machine to see how they were acting while watching LA shatter everyone during his first few wins. What's the bet they were Lance fans back then? If they say they weren't, they're liars!

The things Armstrong have done for cycling, and charity, far outweigh his alleged 'crimes'. Get over it people...

New Day...Happy Day

So, as I eluded to yesterday, the Ridley was in the stand, being torn down. Why? Well, to put it succinctly, it's broken.
Sunday afternoon, I was doing the weekly lick and rub, and noticed a very bothersome crack that ran up the seat tube. Seeing as I've ridden that bike about 6 times this winter, it was shocking news to me!
I took it to CC, so they could handle the warranty through QBP. Unfortunately, the shop is not a Ridley dealer, and even though they buy tens of thousands of dollars worth of product from QBP every year, thus, they could not handle the warranty. I was told that I had to go through Glory Cycles. Well, after the stuff that's happened with them lately, and the fact that I'm loyal to old friends, I choose not to turn down that road. Somehow, I knew the whole process would get fucked up somewhere along the way.
Instead, I called Ward Bates @ Winter Park Cycles in Orlando. I've known Ward for a decade, and knew he'd handle it properly, and with all due haste. In less than 24 hours, photos and emails were sent to the powers that be at both Ridley and QBP, and my new Ridley Helium is on it's way. THAT'S how you get shit done! If you have $ to spend, want high end stuff, and actual expertise to go along with it, call the guys @ Winter Park. All they do is high-end, and they do it well!
Time to order some new bits...sweeeeeet! Old parts will go on for now, though I may be forced to pull the trigger on a new group very soon.

For now, I'm riding the CX bike for everything. It's outlived 3 carbon frames...maybe I should take that as a hint...

Now, on to the rest of the show...

Broke out a quick 50km on the Salsa this morning in the sunshine. So nice...

F you Alberto! F you! WTF? I hope you get raw meat thrown at you in the near future. I don't know what outcome people really expected here either. Did anyone believe the Spanish were really going to ban him? I hope the UCI appeals to CAS, and that France and Italy ban him from racing within their borders. Douchecanoe...

To get your mind off the joke that European professional cycling has become, watch the video below...you'll say WTF again, and likely cock your head to the side like a Labrador. The kid obviously lives in The Matrix...



Now watch it again...

Peace...

RIP Marco

13 January 1970 - 14 February 2004

I've spent most of the day trying to figure out how to write a post about Elefantino, but couldn't decide how to assemble my thoughts. Does one call him a genius, or a fool? I lean toward genius, as genius has brilliant highs and shocking lows, and we all know that Marco swung from one to the other.
It's terribly unfortunate that, in an era in which EVERY rider of any quality had AvGas coursing through his veins, Pantani got popped and was affected so greatly by the detritus that surrounds a positive.
Was he troubled? Yes. Was he a doper? Yes. Was he a straight fucking baller when the road turned up? YES!
As I worked in The ManHole(tm) tonight, dis-assembling my Ridley, a poster of Marco from the 1998 Tour stared me dead in the face. He was wet, dirty and exhausted. The poster is a photo of him crossing the line @ Les Deux Alpes. Watch the video and see who he shelled like so many pecans, then form your opinion...



Pozzo di sonno Il Pirata...

3 years old...never a minute on training wheels...

First day on the 'pedal bike' for #2 son. Yeah, he's a straight baller!

Parenting advice...
If you have children, want them to ride a bike, and want to make it brutally simple for them to learn, buy a balance bike. Both of my progeny used a balance bike for about a year, then moved directly to a 'regular' bike. Neither spent so much as a moment on riding with training wheels. Both also began to ride their bikes before their 4th birthdays...

As for me...
Did 2.5 yesterday solo out thru Lex/Calhoun Counties. I wondered why I was rolling along at 35-40kph on the way out to Sandy Run with a sub-150 HR, then I turned around and headed home. STRUGGLED to maintain 30kph into the headwind...and paid full metal retail for the remainder of the day b/c of the effort.
The only thing the weatherman had correct yesterday was the temperature. He missed wind direction, and speed, by a W-I-D-E margin.
This morning, I went out with the group for the first time in eons, and it was quite enjoyable. We did a meandering loop around the Fort without much care or impetus. Another 2.5 hours on the road bike in the books. Good the see everyone, and glad Mrs. Der Kaiser has recovered...

Saturday's SuperPrestige CX race...last 2 laps...



Hope everyone had a good weekend and got to go outside and play...

Friday funnies

HA! And THIS is easily the funniest thing you'll see this weekend...

This guy has to be Jens Voigt's dad...
His Black Card is on the way...

Katie F'n Compton gets a contract. Just think how dominant she'll be with some actual support! Boggles the mind...

And like we all didn't know that this shit was coming. The Spanish weren't going to stick to their guns, especially when it involves the only rider from Espana that doesn't fall off his bike in a crosswind...or when riding over a painted line on the road...or when a small gnat hits them...

And I'd REALLY like to be a fly on the wall when PVP gets rolling. I'm betting he appreciates the paycheck, but secretly thinks Vaughters is a vag. Yeah, it's the same in Flemish...I looked it up.

And in sort-of-local news, let's all hope this guy gets a little more than the usual slap on the wrist for killing Army Doctor, Maj. Matthew Burke. The maximum penalty in these cases just isn't enough...

2 hours on the CX bike for the kid this morning. It's sunny and warm outside now, but it was peen shrinking chilly when I rolled out @ 8:45. I may actually break out the Ridley tomorrow. I haven't been on the road bike in...well, I can't remember at this point...probably a month or so.

Gonna be nice for the next week or so...get outside and play!

T-Minus

...12 days until surgery. It's a three-part affair that will, hopefully, alleviate the stomach/esophagus/throat issues I've suffered from for the past 2 years. As mentioned before, I'm having the TIF procedure, and they will also be fixing my hiatal hernia, as well as fracturing the problematic Schatzki's ring that has been hampering breathing, eating, sleeping...etc.

Thankfully, the WX looks like it will be pretty nice for the next week or so, ergo, I will be spending some quality time with my bicycles. As it stands, post-surgery, I will not be allowed to ride for a minimum of 7 days, and then only at a pedestrian pace for an undetermined time to follow. No matter, I'll gladly give up 3 or 4 weeks in order to solve the anatomic issue, and be well for the next 40 or so years!

During my convalescence, I figure I'll have time to devote to getting the house ready for a 'For Sale' sign. Spackling, caulking and painting shouldn't be too strenuous...shouldn't be...

Anyway...back on the horse tomorrow...

Tuesday's doping news

So Bertie Clentador had steak 4 nights during the Tour? JT and the boys have something to say to you.
Waiting with baited breath for Mr. 60%'s rebuttal. All the guys that booked out of Saxo, good job!

Ricco, fresh off his suspension for using CERA, get rushed to hospital in some sort of kidney failure. Evidently, he jacked his own blood, stored it in his HOME reefer for 25 days, put it back in, and had an issue? No shit? Here's a tip...after a week, pretty much EVERYTHING you put into the fridge goes bad.
Hell, I won't eat leftovers that are more than a day old, and this jackass transfused blood that was 25 days old? Red blood cells, if stored properly, last about 6 weeks. Platelets...5 days!
Lifetime ban? Coming right up...
Forrest Gump was right...

When will these guys figure out that you can't make a donkey into a thoroughbred? All you get is a faster jackass!

My two cents...

So, over @ DC, the latest post is concerning race radios. I really don't care if they use them or not. They're great for mechanical issues, and for safety, but does anyone really think that the top-flight guys use them for advice from the team car? I doubt that Cancellara needed someone to whisper in his ear when he attacked 45km from Roubaix last year.

As usual though, the conversation turned sideways when one poster added a laundry list of 'improvements' that could be made to pro cycling. Here are the 'solutions'...and my rebuttal...

- Disk brakes. Are we still in 1890?

Really? They would be wonderful in a mass, 25-man pileup. I’m sure no one would get sliced by a rotor. Nothing says love like a 6 inch blade of steel, spinning at 200+ rpm, filleting someone's achilles in the middle of a shunt. "How'd he bleed out?" "Oh, he took a a rotor to the throat..."

- Minimal Braking distances – some wheel/pad combinations are dangerous.

Huh? The UCI couldn’t scratch their ass with a handful of hooks. You’re going to let them dictate what brakes teams can ride? "Ve are sorry Monsieur, but you cannot ride ze Zipps avec ze cork pads. Zere is a chance of rain today..." Yeah, that'll fly...

- Frames rules that do not discriminate against “non standard” riders.

This one, I don’t understand…I don’t think the poster does either. WTF is a 'non-standard' rider? Is Lance 'non-standard' because he has one nut? Maybe he means that certain nameless riders, who fall off a lot, should be allowed to use training wheels. cough...Danielson...cough

- 2 Triangles frame rules – are we still in 1890?

You want the pros riding beam bikes? What is this 1990? The thought of it was offensive to the eye then, and continues to be offensive. The fact that Trek Y-Foil bikes are so sought after these days makes me wonder about humanity.

- Weight limit on components – not the package – a 800 gram carbon frame is not safe. The limit should be around the 1200grm mark with no ballast.

800g frames are fine. You think an extra pound of carbon is going to keep a frame from exploding when hitting a bollard @ 50kmh? Carbon frames don't 'splode on their own, or when subjected to direct sunlight.

- Respect their own rules on locations of sprints finishes.

HTFU! They’re pros. It’s what they’re paid for. Funny that Euro-dogs whinge about the location of a sprint finish, but a field of Cat 3 dudes will put each other in the hospital for a $50 prime.

- Clothing that has a minimal abrasion resistance in key areas.

HTFU! They're pros. It's what they're paid for. What's next, wearing DH armor? I guess we're going to stop the field @ 10k to go, and the UCI will hand out the correct protection to the riders. What about on technical descents? Full leathers and knee pucks for all!

- TT helmets with a safer inner shell (no hard tail).

TT helmets are all Snell and ANSI approved. Have been for a while. And let's face it, if you crash yourself during a ITT, you suck at bike handling. Sorry Cav...and triathletes...

- Brake lights.

Now that’s just dumb! What's next, requiring the peloton to shout "Braking", or "Slowing", like a century ride. Maybe they could set up tables every 20k or so to hand out cookies and Powerade too...

Like the title says, my two cents...

Oh, and here's Stage 1 of the ToQ...(short overview) Boonen attacked at @ 400m to go and held the break off...

Have a good Monday!

Euro CX and the ToQ prologue

Two great races...

ToQ prologue...interesting course...
Oh, and Cav is shit bike handler...

Fine Line

Like the Spinal Tap boys said, it's a fine line between clever and stupid...

Same with 35 degrees and rain, except the line is between hard and stupid. I may not be the fastest guy on the block, but am surely harder than most. For the last two days, however, the prospect of riding in 35 degree rain held no romance. I hate the trainer with the white hot power of 1000 suns, but sometimes it beats being wet, cold, dirty and miserable.
Yesterday, I rode the last 50km of 2010 Liege-Bastogne-Liege...
This morning, it's was the last 50km of 2010 Roubaix, including the 'chase' of Spartacus for the last 45km.


I need to head back down to The ManHole(tm) and mop up. There's an obscenely large, muddy puddle under the cross bike right now...


Hey Bertie, STFU! I'm more than willing to bet that you were lucky that Clen is all they found in your piss! Remember this day? Yeah, the day you beat the best TTers on the planet?
I remember my phone ringing about 7 seconds after Clentador crossed the line. It was Bond on the other end, and the exact word, not words, was "BULLSHIT!" No cursory greeting, just "BULLSHIT!" That's enough for me!

Yeah, we all know, Jens is a BAAAAD man!

If anyone is near Athens tomorrow, get to Jittery Joe's in Five Points, and take part in the Dirt Road World Championships of The World. Jered Gruber put the loop together, so it's probably a combo of great/epic/big fun, and after the last two day of rain, it may be more Belgian than Georgian! Take a towel...

Out...

Fight...

DiPietro cheap shots Cooke out of the crease...see if you can guess what happens next...



-Courtesy of Burt Hoovis




So I was scheduled for the TIF on the 15th, but the Rep for the pharmaceutical conglomerate cannot be there that day, so it's either gonna to be the 22nd or March 1st. I'm ready to get the shit over with and try to get on with my life...and free up some cash for more bike stuff...

A funny and some Porn

Yeah, it's sort of old, but funny nonetheless. @pedal_junky and I came up with this months ago!
Could be a bit of a marketing coup for Chick-fil-A...

Stybar's Czech champ Ridley...that he won the Worlds on last Sunday. No Di2 needed...


Boonen's EMX-7


Another solid CX ride this morning on very tired legs. And I think the Michelin Jets have run their course. Nothing like standing on the side of 12th St. changing a flat. Yep, a flat on the pavement. One tiny piece of wire went through and that was that.
Fortunately, Ebay is brilliant. 3 brand new Clement LAS file tread donuts are one the way to the house...$65 shipped! These are the same treads that Dugast and FMB strip off the clincher casing and glue onto their tub carcasses. If you noticed the white tubs that Nys rode a few times this winter, well, they were shod with Clement LAS tread.

Full Doc day tomorrow. Renick for some cracking and stretching in the morning, then to LexMed in the afternoon for a surgical consult, and to schedule the TIF. Good times...

Namaste...