An open letter to Andy Schleck:
Andy, you're a pussy!
I wasn't surprised by your incessant head swivel in the Pyrenees. I understand the unspoken love you have for your brother Frank, and the fact that you lack any style, soul, or panache. We accept these shortcomings. Some don't like them, but we accept them as part of the rich tapestry that IS Le Tour.
Today however, you reached a new high water mark on the 'bitching like a junior high school cheerleader' yardstick. On today's descent into Gap, it was raining, and the road was slick...I get that. I also understand that bombing roads like these is daunting, even in good weather. Hell, I don't like it either!
My, and more than a few people's, problem with you today? The fact that, after you lost time on the descent, you yelped like the spurned last puppy in the litter. To borrow a quote from your teammate Stuart O'Grady, Harden the Fuck Up.
You're a freaking top-flight pro...learn to handle a bike. Call Trek! I'm sure they'd box up a 29er, or a CX bike for you to play with in the off-season. You'd be surprised how much it helps! Or stop by the BMC team bus and have a chat with Cadel. He may be a whinger, but he won the MTB World Cup twice before turning to the road.
Or, if you are against this idea, I've also found a pharmaceutical answer...
Now, I make no claims as to the efficacy of this drug, nor it's legality under current UCI regulations. You may need to add it to your TUE card.