Why the smells?

So, as most of you know, my brother and I ride at night on the local Army base. We go out through the woods and inevitably, have some sort of (mis)adventure. The thing that is always the most odd is the preponderance of wacky smells out in the middle of the woods...and always at night. I've been out there literally hundreds of times during the day and never smelled anything other than the outdoors.
One night, it was baby diapers...and not the dirty, poopy ones. It was the clean powder smell of a new diaper. Another night we smelled wet dog for a good mile of the trail. I figured it was just Bigfoot and rode faster.
We hit it Thursday night and on the way back in from the turnaround, there was a 1/2 mile section of trail that smelled like grape flavored bubble gum. You know what I'm talking about...that sticky, sugary, sweet grape Bubble gum smell from our youth. We didn't smell it on the way out, just on the way back. Weird....! The H.O. offered the guess that maybe someone was cooking Meth out there. I explained that Sudafed and drain cleaner do not create a smell equivalent to that of grape Bubble Yum.
We had a good ride though. Heavy legs were in abundance. Eating every homemade cookie produced in Chesterfield County is not conducive to riding well....

Today's ride was good too. It was generally pretty steady with a few very quick bursts that inflicted some pain and damage. 10 people showed up, which is saying something from December 30th. It was 58 degrees when I left and 70 when I got home. Freaking amazing weather. Dink got shown speed again today, but didn't seem any wiser for it. I just cannot understand that dude...maybe it's a test. A full report will follow...

I rebuilt my Ultegra hubs tonight. Nothing says lovin' like new ball-bearings and a helping of Phil Wood grease. Smooth like a stripper's butt. Well, a good stripper in a nice establishment...working her way through "Law School"!

Long time

It's been a while since I've posted...Christmas with the H.O.'s lunatic family. Different story for a different time...

Last Saturday, we had a good, steady ride through Lower Richland, including Chaingang. I'd never been down that way before and I must say, it was a nice change. I'm all about Dean's idea of taking a new road on every ride. It mixes it up nicely and makes for a nice change of pace. It was warm (65ish), but wet. No rain, just humid and wet roads. Our resident Dink was pulling his normal routine. I think someone spoke to him about it, as it seemed to stop...

Until Sunday...

I think he wants to go hard all the time. There's a zone that you aren't supposed to ride in for long periods. It's right @ 85%. Dink rides there the whole time he's on the bike. He would follow wheels, speed up and slow down and keep looking back when he would ride 2 or 3 lengths of the the front, like he was hammering us. Trust me Dink, I can close the gap on you.
At the end of the ride, I figured enough was enough. I attacked on 321 and opened a pretty substantial gap. I sat up on a climb and Dink caught me and rode past. I waited on The Hammer and pulled my guts out to close the gap. Dink was riding at about 13/10ths. His body looked like he was about to fly off the bike. When we turned to go home, he told me I was an 'Animal' and took everything he had to catch me. I reminded him it was December and I wasn't fit AND that I sat up to wait on the group. This will be different come April, that I can assure you. There will be no sitting up and waiting...! Dink will be riding home alone...A LOT!

Brohem and I will be in the woods tonight...maybe this ride will be better than my last foray into the wilderness.

2 out 3 is sometimes bad...

Brohem and I rode in the dark last night. It was a nice night...55 degrees, no wind, dry...
I'm sure that if you've ridden with any anger at all, that you've had a day when everything goes according to plan. Some days, though, you have either bad legs or bad heart. Last night, I had good legs, good heart, but the brain must have flown out for a little time alone before Christmas. My mind was gone. I couldn't see the trail, couldn't remember the turns, could barely handle the bike and was just plain stupid. It made no difference that I was rocking 40 watts of lights. I cut a fresh path about a dozen times last night. Some of the lines might have been good, but some were definitely the wrong way around.
Tree, meet dumbass...dumbass, meet tree! Pitiful!
Maybe I was just tired. I did sleep like a baby last night. Or maybe it's the search for carbon wheels on Ebay that's locking up too much computing speed in the old noggin. I sold the Reynolds wheels and now have a pile of cash burning a hole in my Paypal account.

Today is Winter Solstice. The days only get longer for the next six months.

Rain is called for until Saturday afternoon. Rain or not, I'll be on the bike Saturday. If no rain, the road will fear me. If rain, I will go exert my dominance over the trail that soundly whipped my ass last night. I'll let you know what transpires...

3 days until Christmas...

It must be global warming

So Saturday, the high here was 72 and Sunday was 70. Saturday we had a pretty big group for this time of year and had a really good 100km ride. It was steady at 30-35 kmh and had a few quick bursts. The only true efforts were chasing down our favorite local ding-dong. Everytime the group would slow down, the moron would go to the front and ride off, like he was dropping us. At one point, he took a left turn and the group just kept going straight! After three hours of it, I chased him down on a long flat stretch and simply coasted by...

On the run-in to the sprint, he did it again, but this time he kept looking back. It was if he was taunting the group. I told BLK to go and the two of us ripped across the 200 meter gap at 55 kmh. We went by DD (ding-dong) like he was on jackstands. I let BLK have the sprint (won't happen in the spring and summer), as he did all of the work.

Sunday was another good ride. 3 hours and 55 miles of medium tempo to turn the legs over. There really weren't any quick bursts. I think Saturday took the wind out of more than a few sails. It was a good ride and a good group...

Well, it's a boy...again! Bambino numero due should be arriving at the end of April. The sonogram was pretty easy to read...see the pic...! I could tell it was a boy and I'm an idiot. Hopefully, this one won't be 9 pounds and 22 inches that leads to another 18 hours of brutal labor for the H.O.

Dear trainer,

I hate you in so many ways. So many way, in fact, that I cannot express tham all. My hate runs so deep for you that, if not for my positive attitude and need for time on the bike, I would go buy a plasma cutter and reduce you to little more than $.37/pound scrap.

My brother is out of town for the rest of the week, so I was forced into the ManHole to ride the trainer tonight. I rode the trainer last Sunday as well, making two days in a week, which is unheard of around here. Normally, I would put on the lights and go ride by myself, either a road loop on the Fort or my downtown "Hour of Power" (trademark pending) of the crosser. It's Christmas time and folks are rushing about with little regard for each other, much less a guy on a bike, so I chose to ride the trainer. I truly do not know how you people above the Manson-Nixon line do it all winter. I watch race DVDs and movies while I'm riding and can still only muster an hour before the voices start wanting me to go strangle someone. I have a friend in Canada who goes to his basement and rides the rollers for 3 hours!! Are you kidding me? After three hours, I'd be so homicidal that I'd need a strait-jacket and a fistful of Paxil.

We find out Friday whether Il Bambino will have a little fratello or sorella. The H.O. says it's another boy while I'm just not sure. I've been having dreams that we have a girl. Of course, I also have dreams about Kate Beckinsale...

BTW- my Reynolds Stratus wheels are on EBay...Buy it now for $825

It was cold...

So brohem and I decide to ride mountain bikes on Saturday morning. All fine and well other than the fact it was 27 degrees when I left the house at 8:15 am. We didn't feel like driving anywhere so we did the Ft. Jackson loop plus a little bit.
I know I made fun of him for having to warm his feet, but I was in need of the Vagisil yesterday. Note to everyone, Fox Racing full finger gloves do not equal warm winter mitts. I thought I was one of those guys on Everest. You know the ones...the guys whose appendages go numb and then turn black, only to drop off some days later. I couldn't feel my pinky fingers and thumbs for most of the ride.
We didn't go all that hard and did some barrier construction/addition to a fallen tree. You can now ride up and over. It was a good ride that led to a good nap. Il bambino slept, so I slept. It's all very cyclical.
It was 29 when I woke up this morning. I held out zero hope that anyone would show for the group road ride. The heaters are running in the ManHole. It'll be a balmy 60 down there by then time I go down to get on the rollers for an hour or so. I haven't decided what movie to watch though...! The beauty of a 32" TV and a DVD player in the shed is boundless. I just need to run cable down there...

I'm beginning to amass parts for the new frame build. FSA SL-K cranks were snapped up on EBay for $167...with BB. A bargain! All I need is a seat clamp and headset...and the patience to wait two more months for my new carbon frame.

Holy shit, it's a Humvee

So my brother and I decide to go out a little early last night, so we can ride longer/farther. It was a plan. Not a good one, not a bad one, just a plan. So we meet at 5 on the crossers and head out. There are pine cones and sticks everywhere on the far end of the trail. I catch a stick AND a cone and the bike comes to a dead stop. I pull 15 to 20 pounds of crap out of the rear derailleur and see that the thing has been flipped 270 degrees by the large stick that ended my forward momentum. For a minute, I shit, thinking that the H.O. would not be happy about driving halfway to the middle of nowhere to get me and my disabled rig. Fortunately, I grab the R/D and flip it back around. It works shifts and still does the job for which a small Japanese man designed it. There is a stop on the unit itself that is supposed to hinder the thing from flipping around. Well, it didn't...! It did, however, take a nice chunk out of the body of the R/D while it was doing it's backflip. No harm, no foul...

We get onto the base, illegally I might add, and begin the fire road slog around the lake. On the climb out, I hear a diesel engine off to our 9 o'clock. When we get to the crossroads, I look back and see a set of headlights coming up the road. Did I mention we were on an Army base, at night, in a restricted area, illegally? I yell exactly what the title states and tell my brother to kill his lights. We kill all lights and haul ass, in the dark, up the road. We weren't seen (obviously) or else I may be typing this from Gitmo. I don't think we'll be doing that loop again anytime soon...in the dark at least.

Total ride was 2:40 and a bit over 50km, which is damn good for a night ride...in the woods!

It would have been about 10 minutes shorter, but Poo-Poo had to stop to warm up his toes...
Should have just rubbed some Vagisil on 'em...

Group and solo

Saturday we had a few folks show up. The sun was out, but it wasn't exactly warm...maybe 50-ish. I know some of you are saying 50? Well, it's been up in the high 60s and 70s here for a long while. 50 feels cold...! We ended up doing about 3 hours at a moderate/slow pace. My legs were stiff and heavy from eating poorly and hauling Il Bambino around for the previous two days.
The weather changed last night...for the worse. I woke up to 38 and threatening skies. I knew no one would bother to show, so I hit the trail, solo, on the cross bike. It started raining about 30 minutes after I got home. It turned into a cold, breezy, rainy, all around crappy day. The H.O. was/is on her broom today too....

Christmas is 21 days away. I'm about 65% done with shopping. I just can't go on the weekend. Too many stupid people out there who act as if they've never been out of the trailer park. I get aggro and want to start snapping necks...! Not exactly the Christmas spirit, so I shop in the middle of the week, when all of the unwashed masses are toiling away at work.

Night ride Tuesday...must charge lights...

I have the solution to obesity

Yes folks, you'll be reading it here first, so remember where you saw it...

The solution for obesity in America is to close down all Golden Corral and Cracker Barrel restaurants. As you know, the entire company went to the beach a couple of days ago. In the interest of eating in a location that would be acceptible for Il Bambino, we chose Golden Corral for dinner last night. If you can find something to eat at GC, you aren't really trying. If you can't find too much of that thing, you are not even paying attention. I am at my winter weight of 185-ish right now, and I was by far the thinnest person in GC. I had ONE plate of food from the buffet and some banana pudding. There were a few people that looked like Mr. Creosote...! I mean really, if you must have a chair for each ass-cheek, push the plate away.
Cracker Barrel is no better. Nothing like three pancakes, two eggs and three slices of bacon to dull your senses first thing in the morning. We ate at 9 am...I haven't eaten since and feel like I need a half dozen apples and a whole head of iceberg to cleanse my system

Needless to say, I'll be riding on the front both days this weekend.